Emily you are 1!

Finally she is 1! time flies! Love you bubbly girl!

We had a mini celebration with our church family fellowship at Googong Dam picnic area..haha. I made a applesauce cake with creamcheese and yummy oreo cheesecake muffins, not that you bothered. haha..Eliza was so much more excited and she couldn't wait to celebrate. She's a party gal! 

Will post more when i feel like writing again...meanwhile i don't find i have time on my hands to do much writing...soon i hope! 

On our own soon!

Sitting in the car with sleeping Emily after sending Eliza to school. It's one more week before my mil leaves. I'm very very grateful that she was here for 3 months, helping us so much while Ww was away doing his field work. At the same time I'm looking forward to her return to SG.

This is different from the first time she was here. Then I worried whether I can handle it myself. But once we got into the groove of things, it was really enjoyable. Of course there were days when I just bummed around with Eliza or when I just lost my cool with Eliza cos Emily couldn't sleep well. But we learn. And I enjoyed the freedom and independence I never had.
Just like H said, that I will enjoy being on my own. No one to impose their ideas n ways so that I can find my own way of doing things. Certainly I learnt much from my mil and we enjoy her food but I didn't have the freedom to do things the way I like (without a comment or two). Well, we were saying we'll be back to our routines n groove once my mil leaves. I will have one less person to watch the girls but I'll work around that. It is possible :)

Also back to cooking my simple meals and hope I can squeeze time in to make extras n desserts with the girls. Looking forward to more outdoors and walks with Eliza too.

Finding time

I wish i have more time to do craft / read / play with Eliza. Sometimes she's so engrossed with her stuff that i don't want to interrupt her. Sometimes i have chores to do. When my mil leaves, i also need to learn to put these chores aside and be there for them instead of doing the 101 chores. Then again, there are things that need to be done in the day which i can't do when they have gone to sleep!

It is great that Eliza has joined us in helping with the laundry, be it folding, or unclipping or clipping or passing me the clips. Letting her join in the chores helps though there are things that she's still too short to do or it's not the way i want to be done (like clipping the clothes on the dryer which she arranges in the most interesting way -_-).

Sometimes i wonder what keeps me so busy throughout the day which of course....getting Emily to sleep is one big amount of time taken!
- Then it's 1 hour meals
- changing Emily's diapers
- bathing the kids (i'm teaching Eliza to soap and rinse and dry herself so it does take longer depending on how much time i have that day..and she dresses herself after i have creamed her)
- meals? (for now my mil does most of it)
- playing :)  (leaving the girls to play too is nice..Emily loves join in whatever Eliza is doing though Eliza doesn't always appreciate the company)
- feeding Emily
- going out for some playground play, walks or fresh air
- bedtime with Eliza (my favourite time of the day)
- reading with Eliza whenever Emily's asleep

Wondering where my chunk of time for doing activities with Eliza went to.
I'm wanting to do more craft activities with her now that she has so much fun doing these things, even though sometimes i do all of it and she watches.
We have been busy this week going out that we have put our activities on hold for a while. I need to get back to the flow of preparing her 'lessons' with more interesting craft work. And also when i feel more like it in the evenings (having 2 tough nights with Emily waking and playing...let's hope it's a phase and that she's not overtired cos she's up so much at night)

So far for our 'homeschooling'
We enjoy the singing (which includes the verse of the week song & character song)
- reading the bible story (i try to read the kid version one as the real bible words seem to slip past her, but i try to read direct from the bible at least once or twice a week)
- she's reading her sight book really well, and colouring them now! (wow to my non-coloring gal)
- kid writing (a bit slow on that because i have yet to digest how to do it)
- calender (we are writing the twenties and i think the concept of larger numbers is still new to her)
- phonics (she can name most of the letter sounds which i talk about on and off even when we are not directly learning it...and she's learning about rhyme, which a very important skill for learning reading..to listen to the sounds. For now i think she somehow reads English like Chinese, by memory)
- writing (we are at letter R already...though she still loves to write words like E, O, I)

I love you, mummy!

Eliza: I love you mummy. Even if you are old, I will still love you.

*melts*

Happy new year!

Mil: tomorrow I will give you a big angbao!
Eliza: I think...i can't carry it. I'm only a kid. I ask mummy to help.

For the first time this year, Eliza understood the meaning of the angbao. Last year she just put it in her bag or gave it to me. Yesterday she received one, opened it and in a surprise discovered money inside! Wow! Haha. The innocence of a kid. This time she understood that money is needed to buy things and we get money when mummy or daddy works and that she's still a kid and can't work yet.

Just nice J bought her a little Elmo purse and she could put it in. At first she said, that she has money but no wallet to put it in. Time to teach her how to divide her money and save/spend it wisely. :)

Missing the festivities and food and family in SG. It's quiet here but we'll be going out to the National Museum of Australia for some kid activities n shopping after that. Hope Emily will take a good nap later. It has been a struggle getting her to sleep this morning, 40mins! With almost 20mins of screaming and struggling. And then she's only going to nap 30mins. Time to get her to nap without me in the room. Grrr.

Oh well. Happy new year too! :) 7 more days till Ww come back, finally!

The sleep issues

I love it that Eliza's sleep is a lot more manageable these days...essentially we tackle only the bedtime sleep. More or less no naps anymore unless she's really tired and falls asleep in the car.

Well it's not that she is difficult to fall asleep...in comparison to Emily, it's that we can do more fun things with her in the day without worrying that she'll get too tired. And if she does, she'll catch a short nap in the car. The moment i carry her to her bed from the car, she wakes up. The good part is also that she goes to sleep much earlier which is about 8pm till 7am the next morning. The other good part is that when my mil wasn't around, she learnt to fall asleep on her own, in her room and wake up happy. It wasn't a easy thing to learn for her, as sometimes she'll wake up at night calling for us (usually Ww cos i'm the grumpy one if i go to her room), and then it's learning to wake up without someone beside her after sleeping with us (although in a different bed), almost all her life. I anticipate some adjustments when my mil goes back, but at least the bedtime part is still consistent (as in my mil doesn't stay in the room until she sleeps). Learning independence, not that easy eh? but so essential. It was something we didn't quite teach her till we are here, on our own, without grandparents.

Then it is the lil monster!! There are good days as much as bad days. Last week she was doing so well falling asleep on her own in 10minutes! I just sing her naptime song, put her in her cot with something to play and she'll be tired (rubbing forehead and face) and eventually fall asleep! i was like super wow! Even though she slept like 30minutes only, be it morning or afternoon nap. I'm still in the room with her till she sleeps, 'hiding' beside her cot and erm...iphoning, and trying not to look up (else she'll see me and want me to carry her).

Then this week things took a slight turn for the worse..partially cos she was waking up so early at 530am and still not sleeping at 7am her rest of the day is a bit upside down. So her milk time clashes with her naptime and she ends up falling asleep nursing. Opps. Bad habit. And it happened at least once a day these few days. Opps. Encouraging the bad habit...oh dear. Good habits are hard to make and bad habits...just once or twice and she's stuck...have to unlearn it.

Past few nights she was waking up at 9+pm after her bedtime at 7pm to cry and can't be settled till i feed her! I guessed it might be that she's not eating enough for her mealtimes and i have since increased her food for her lunch and dinner. Since i nurse her, i can't quite tell how much milk she takes but there are times when she's either too distracted to drink or just too full to drink and i can't get her to drink more in the day. Then again, it could also be because she has dinner and milk so early; dinner at 5pm and milk about 6pm or earlier if she is too hungry for milk to eat dinner. So i hope it gets better the next few nights.

Her bedtime is really quite early compared to Eliza, which is also because of our lifestyle here that encourages it. Most books i read also recommend the 7pm bedtime which is something i really can't do in SG. How to, when work ends at 630pm, and it takes me 1hr to travel home. Plus, SG has such a lively night life to go out for supper and dinners and shopping with friends, that it's just a lifestyle thing. Still Eliza adjusted ok with that, maybe with sleeping more in the day, i guess. Cos she'll generally sleep from 9pm-7am and naps in the day, even when she was a baby.

I've been checking out over here on how much a baby needs to sleep and it helps to know that it's ok that Emily sleeps only 2hrs in the day, considering she generally sleeps about 10-11hrs at night (including night wakings/cryings though). on good days, she manages to sleep till 7am...else she's usually awake by 6+am. On bad days when she is overtired, she wakes up at 530am!! :O Still i push for her to sleep longer if i can or bring bedtime earler, if i can. Well...i try. Then it's up to her to fall asleep. Else she's fighting sleep, wanting to get out or wanting me to nurse her to sleep.

I'm also reading that the early naptime is good for babies, which i think works better for Emily i guess. We did try to get her to sleep later where she starts bedtime routine at 7pm but i can't remember what happened, whether it was good or not anyway. Still starting it early doesn't hurt. Plus i sent Emily to bed at 545pm today (cos she last woke from her nap at 2pm), and then she took so long to fall asleep..and eventually did at 645pm. phews!dunno if she'll do better tonight..cross fingers!

Motherhood

Have been reading blogs and posts and parts of books.

From The Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic
"As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like and feels like to walk with God, as a mother."
"It is no abstract thing- the state of your heart is the state of your home. You cannot harbour resentment secretly toward your children and expect their hearts to be submissive and tender."

From Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
"“In the end, the measure of my success as a mother will not be how well I have taught my children or cared for them but whether I have been faithful in helping them respond to God’s call on their lives. Seeing my children develop a heart for God’s service and begin to find their own place of ministry in the world is a reachable goal for me as a mother, because God has designed me to fulfill this purpose. The is the true ministry of motherhood–to usher my children into the living presence of God, to nurture in them a heart for Jesus and the Great Commission he has called each of us to fulfill.”


Time for reflection

The gentleness challenge

Read this from a mum's link and this year for me, I want to take up this The gentleness Challenge.

Help me remember.

Kids really test your patience, and add in stressors from anything or just a tired day and you might just respond in a less patient way. There are times when i regretted how i responded to Eliza. I always want to be firm with her, never to scold her loudly, but always to be kind and gentle. I also know what her trigger points are, sometimes she's tired, sometimes she's wanting attention, sometimes she just cannot accept the stern 'no' she hears from me. I'm thankful for the relationship we have, that despite the discipline we have on her, she will still in the end want to do what we tell her to and she'll say sorry for her misbehavior. We'll always end each meltdown/breakdown/whatever-down with a shared heart to heart talk. Though i don't want to ever raise my voice at her in a way that will demean her or become a bad example she learns from.

I quote from the page:
"It’s interesting to note that all of the fruit of the Spirit address this very issue – the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control (Gal. 5:22).  When we walk in the Spirit – we will be gentle mothers.  But when we walk in the flesh – we lack all of these attributes.

Which brings me to conclude that we must be in God’s word and on our knees daily – depending on God to help us be the gentle mothers he has called us to be. "

What Emily has been up to

Ohh..this little tiger rabbit...that's what my mil calls her. She roars! haha..Emily is loud alright, much louder than Eliza. I remember her crying when we bathed her in her first two months and make our ears ring from the intensity of the screams after that. That's one very distinctive difference from her sister.

The other is on how difficult to get her to sleep. Not that Eliza was that easy either but Emily's like 9/10 on how easy she sleeps scale (10 being the most difficult) and Eliza's on the 5/10. At least Eliza will doze off, like Eliza likes to hug me and lean her head on my shoulder or chest and fall asleep. Oh well, Emily being the second child doesn't get that much of a luxury cos i don't have as much time for her as i had with Eliza. But Emily will hardly do that..she'll rub her face on my chest more likely. Eliza has been accustomed to the stroller since young and she takes to it really well (even now!)..so i remember that she'll fall asleep as i stroll to Tampines Mall or back. Emily? Nah...she finally can happily sit on the stroller when we go for our short morning walk. It is an improvement. Previously, she was just looking for me. whops!

Other interesting stuff Emily has been up to:
- Being very interested in what goes on the computer, especially when Eliza watches any of her DVDs, Emily will head towards the computer and be very excited, very. haha. Especially when we facetime or skype with Ww, Emily will fight with Eliza for a space to see, as much as pull Eliza away so that she gets closer to the screen. It's really funny but i gotta protect Eliza from the 'harm' Emily will inflict on her too.
- She babbles to sleep, when she doesn't cry to sleep. She'll go ahhh, huuuuh, uhhhh, uuuuhh...
- She crawls all around the house. This is no time to be confined to the playmat anymore.
- She doesn't put certain things in her mouth. Things like my iphone, her cream, papers (ok that's still in the learning stage..she just can't resist that). Everytime she does so, i'll sternly tell her "no-no, not in your mouth" and move it aside or take it away. Till, she nowadays either got tired of the item or learn it(?).
- She loves Eliza, ahh-ing at her and looking at what Eliza does....or taking what Eliza is playing with (it happens the other way round also, just that Eliza will want the thing i give to Emily). So much so that she can call Eliza...chehcheh or 姐姐. yup..not the most exact pronunciation but she will see Eliza can call out  jiejie.
- She calls my mil "ah". haha...like calling 'ay'.
- She loves being tickled and will give a most hearty giggle.
- She loves sucking out the juice from watermelon, rock melon, pears, apples.
- If she eats something really sour, she'll give us a 'sour' face and give a 'shiver'. This must see on video..really super cute!
- She is probably allergic to raspberry or yoghurt. I tried to let her eat baby yoghurt on sunday and she didn't quite like it cos it was quite sour. After that when we were at church, her ears and feet were quite red and she was really cranky. It got better in the afternoon when she did an epic 2.5hr nap.
- She can fall asleep on her own, as in without me patting her or holding her to sleep. While it is not that often, it's a vast improvement from needing me to carry her to sleep and keep carrying her till she wakes. I learn how to put her to sleep and she learns how to sleep. she is persistent and so i need to learn not to create bad habits. Having kids really teach you the lesson about consistency! She still wakes up 1-3 times before 11plus when i go to sleep and her 11pm+ milk time. I remember that Eliza at that age also wakes up quite a bit in the hours before i sleep too, just that Eliza was not as fierce as Emily in terms of crying...so even though at times i would be frustrated, it wasn't as scary as Emily! haha.

A smaller stroller for Emily? 

Happy with swinging! It was the first time she's on the swing.

Looking really fierce on the stroller...actually more apprehensive.

Playdate :D 

Emily also finally sits on the trolley instead of being asleep during our grocery shopping. 

Homeschoolling?

Yeah we are kinda doing that..because Eliza enjoys it, and it's mummy focused time with her. She loves the craft parts, the singing and the cards activities. I'm not sure about the rest but i try to make it as fun as possible. Some activities take like one minute to finish. (that fast?) yeah...writing the date on the calender is that fast. But we'll keep writing till we see the pattern.

There's reading to learn and i'm finding that although we read a lot of books that rhyme, i haven't really introduced rhymes to her yet. And i'm not sure if she has gotten the concept. One of the activities is to do rhyme match, and it is one of the foundations of reading, that they can grasp the sounds. We'll take it slow at the reading front even though she can read some words by memory, like the way we learn to read chinese, hopefully she'll get the hang of reading phonetically.

It's great that my mil is here and she's picking up her chinese much faster now although she'll always mix english & chinese together like "我love你" or “我read这个” etc. So it does help to repeat the sentence with all Chinese and she picks it up really fast from there. She also gets her practice reading Chinese with my mil cos she wasn't that keen previously, only wanting me to read/speak english with her. With my mil, she has no choice..hehe. Finally she more or less can finish reading the 8 chinese readers from her school, so that means she knows almost 100 chinese words? She loved her Chinese teacher in her nursery class and i think that helped her got so interested in reading her chinese readers too. She was reading her chinese readers to me every night and practicing till she could proudly read the whole book (albeit with quite a 标准 accent that i can't imitate especially the "明明", if you have seen that video on FB before :P ) 

Still all day at home is fun for her, making her lego cities to no end...only fear is that Emily comes and destroy it or i accidently knock it down (oops!). And then it's her own craft or her play with her stuffed toys, or her house/tent/tunnel etc. Amazing how busy they can get at this age! 

We need to go out more despite the crazy hot weather so it's time to change walks to mornings when it's not so hot. I am sorely missing my walks because i can drive now and will choose driving over walking! haha...

This was in March...she would want to read this book again and again and again...day and night..till she was so good at it

One of the activities was the weather graph....done in under 5 minutes! but it'll be fun to see how the weather is like over a month at the end of the month

Day 4 of creation...special activitiy for the week...here she's painting and later went on to do her other painting after all the paints have been taken out..why waste it. It will always have to end up with finger painting though.

 I got this from Homeschool Creations. It was a one off printable for gardening.Arranging numbers. Very easy to us..but this one really takes quite a while for her...not that she doesn't know but that it takes quite a bit to gather that concentration. And everytime she has to count from number 1 to know what's the next number. The difficult number is 15! She'll always say 'five-teen" and completely miss it and go from 14 to 16. So we'll need some more practice. This is a game actually...to hide a shovel under one of the numbers and guess where it is. It is something she'll take out on her own and do spontaneously, thankfully. :) 

Emily's 8 month schedule

Just so i remember...

530-7am - wake. yes half the time she wakes up that early. it's part sun rising and part lack of sleep as they say. (she averages 2hr or less naps in the day time)
7am - I wake up! Morning stuff, change Emily's diapers, breakfast, milk for emily, send clothes to wash. The best time of the day for Emily cos she's so eager to 'say' good morning to jiejie and my mil with super-squished-up-excited-face and vigorous kicking in excitement. Really fun to wake up to a happy gal, ready to conquer the day :P
830am - nap unwinding time in her cot
9am - hopefully asleep
930am - wake. If we are not going out, usually i'll attempt to get her to sleep longer. But there are times when she doesn't want to sleep! so it's up for the day
10am - brunch. (time to shift this up later and include breakfast for her soon)
11am - milk (or later if i forget..oops!)
12pm - settle for nap in cot
1230pm - hopefully asleep. she usually can sleep longer during this part of the nap and i'll use this time to do activities with Eliza
130/2pm - wake & play
230/3pm - milk
330/4pm - settle for nap
4+pm - wake
5pm - dinner and milk. Bath after dinner.
6pm - get ready to settle to sleep (usually 1.5 hrs from the time she woke) Bedtime routine = say good night to everyone, draw the blinds and curtains, milk & prayer, put in cot and play lullaby
7pm - asleep and hope she doesn't wake up too often
11pm - dream feed (after which she'll wake about 3am+ and that legendary 5+am)


I love what she wrote at the end of her blog (and all the tips she listed too..very useful)
"The early days are tough. Let no one fool you about that! No matter what the age gap, it is always an adjustment when you add a member to the family. But when you see them playing and smiling with each other, you will know that your struggles are worth it!"


I'm amazed at many mums who can thrive so well on the tough early days, on their own (aka without grandparents live-in help or day care or maids). Now i'm  a SAHM, i know jolly well i'm not that kind of mum. At least not with a sweet one who enjoys our company more than sleep ;)

I'm thankful that Eliza is enjoying Emily more and Emily obviously loves her jiejie. Sometimes Emily will call her, not exactly the word jiejie but you know she's calling Eliza anyway. Really fun watching this little tiger rabbit explore her world :)

first week of the year

It's the first week of the year! We didn't do anything spectacular during new year's eve (oh we wanted to watched the sydney fireworks but not with Ww in USA...spending the new year's eve at the airport waiting for his plane! hoho). So the girls went to sleep as usual, bedtime was as usual, everything quite as usual. I heard the sounds of fireworks but couldn't see any cos it was just too far away & probably blocked by mountains.

We started with new 'activites' for Eliza
- Bible : this week was on creation. memorized Gensis 1:1 (singing to the tune of "Here we go looby loo")
- Character: Orderliness. Sing the Orderly song & read 1 Cor 14:40, arrange ABC in order (oh how i realized that she isn't that aware of the order of "L, M, N, O" cos it's sung so quickly)
- Alphabet: "A"
- Reading: Sight words mini story book - We & Will. Rhyme games
- Calender : singing months of the year song, writing date, weather chart (mainly just sunny & cloudy)
- Writing: K, L, M. Chinese strokes book, Kid writing actitivty

Looks like a lot...but really it's done in 40minutes or less and some are just done sparodically in the day, like singing etc. Or if she does an activity that's painting or crafty, she gets inspired and goes on to do her stuff.
Once i got the hang of things, i can just pull out our activity basket and get on doing stuff. I just need to have the things i need printed or 'laminated' the night before.
Yah and she's still bugging me to make ornaments!!

Still it was a peaceful new year's eve night. Nice.
New year's eve in pictures.

Changing for the day while i plonk Emily in Eliza's bed..safe enough for her not to crawl into trouble

Pre-morning nap unwinding time. Put rabbit as her bed toy...she only likes its tag, else it's flung to some corner. 

Still don't wanna sleep...so happy

Preparing pizza for dinner! 

Good night and tata 2011! 

I got nothing done today

Not exactly today today...my mil's here, so it's very different when i'm home alone with the girls and having to get things accomplished.

this is inspired from here. She has more kids than i do and i can't imagine. I have only two and it does get insane..somehow.

Still, a thought came to me as i was praying with Emily while she was having her bedtime milk: we have come this far. Many things had happened, and it took as a while to get used to be on our own (after my mil went back to sg after 1.5months with us). Actually it took me a while...i had Eliza's bedtimes to be settled so that she learns to sleep in her own room, i had a baby who barely slept unless she's carried, i had meals to be done etc. There were the stressors, especially when Emily took hours to settle at bedtime and i couldn't prepare food for the next day, or when Eliza started to act out cos of the lack of attention or not wanting to be told off. Mostly it was Emily's sleep, day and night. While Emily's sleep didn't get dramatically better before my in-laws came again, we did settle into something that we ALL enjoyed. I worked around the sleepless baby's schedule, Eliza played happily independently and enjoyed my undivided attention when Emily's awake (cos that's when Emily's not screaming! ha!)

I don't quite get much done in the daytime...as in planning stuff or stuff done on the computer. But there were pocket of times that i enjoyed, that i did nothing much with the girls but just hung around in the room and be immersed in Eliza's imaginative play. I don't homeschool like the mum does so there isn't a lot of activities that i need to do with Eliza other than reading and yup...eventually her writing and devotion time in the morning.(which is over in less than half hour...really it's so fast..sometimes 10mins)

Still trying to get the hang of things so come 2011, we'll be starting some form of 'homeschooling' following Hubbard's Cupboard curriculum, I have planned only for the first week and still am trying to remember all the little parts and get used to it cos there're soo many parts! I'm not teacher though i have soooo many teacher friends (ok and Ww is a teacher too). I remember a mum friend (who was a teacher before she had 3 kids!) was enjoying doing her toddler lesson plans. I can't quite imagine what all the lesson planning is about. More on how our week went soon...:)

what should a 4 year old know?

I love this post from Magical Childhood about what a 4 year old should know. Italics mine. Discovered it as i was searching for ideas for what 'homeschooling' stuff to do with Eliza. We haven't been doing any writing practices lately and i have started it again today. Thought i gotta do do something more structured to do in the day but then again... ;)

1. "She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.  Eliza asks me now and then, "Do you love me?" to which i always answer "I will always love you, even when i am upset with you"
2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up. Time to learn these...socializing, especially who to talk to and who not to cos people are quite friendly here. 
3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs. Eliza definitely does, she's the cheeky one, always trying to be funny. Though i think nursery school and people around do make her conform to how she should colour things. 
4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud. a 4 year old play is so spontaneous, she'll play and burst into song, hear a song and dance... we taught her numbers while she climbs up the steps at home and at the overhead bridge. 
5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that-- way more worthy. She sure does have lots of time to do so! Not too much shopping and she wont be so dull. ;) Else she'll be making jumping parties for her stuffed friends, Lego cities, play house, cooking, playdoh food, sand food, water play. For one, she isn't the most outdoorsy-get-into-the-mud kinda kid. 

But more important, here's what parents need to know.

1. That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra. This is really not easy especially when I compare the things some other kids Eliza's age can do. Ignorance is bliss eh? But i also know that she'll find her ways to do these things in her pace...mummy must encourage and yet let her find her pace. 
2. That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books. I gave up on flash cards...too tedious and boring. But i want to read more to Eliza, more than i do now. We read every night and i want to read more books in the daytime too. I want to talk to her more, listen to her more. 
3. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood. Somehow if Eliza was still in SG, she'll be learning in leaps and bounds with the other kids, stuff i won't be teaching her at home. I don't find that she's stressed by it in a way but she's a lot more carefree at home now though. Storytelling time at the library is an exciting time even though it's such a simple activity. 
4. That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important-- building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too-- to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit. I don't really like getting toys for Eliza unless it has 'expandable use' like the Lego. My in-laws buys lots more and particularly those electronic ones with sounds and music. I do find that it gets played a while and then no more...while some toys get 'transformed' by her into something else to play with. Oh..Eliza's craft? it's just too exciting and profound...i need her to explain it to me to understand what she's making! haha. She loves helping me pour flour/sugar etc, kneading bread (when i do make any dough!). But i can't stand the mess...she did have a phase of tearing papers into tiny pieces and throwing them happily like confetti or using them as pretend food or presents etc. Books are never enough! And different books have different seasons, she'll choose the same book for many nights till another better one comes along. 
5. That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They do. I've always read that it's the quantity time and not the quality time that matters. Of course with two kids and a house to manage without help, it's not like you can spend 12hours with your 4yr old all the time. And Eliza will always welcome my participation in her imaginative play any day, cos i'll listen to her stories, and put new ideas about how her play can go. I love my bedtimes with her and i'm trying not to rush it; cos i'm afraid Emily will wake and i have to go settle her and leave Eliza or that she really needs to sleep cos she's tired, just a little more to chat is always nice. Today her stuffed tiger said its teeth hurt cos it bit me and i don't taste good. hahaa....
   
   They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them. "

Talking about death

How do you talk about death with a 4 year old?

One of the night chit chats with Eliza, we talked about my maternal grandfather who took care of me till i was 10yrs old. I think we were talking about who took care of me when i was young. I don't have a photo of my grandfather with me as then, it was all printed photos not digital! And at some point i started to feel sad and cried (not bawl but tear), cos i thought about how my grandfather loved me so much and that he is no longer around anymore. He died of lung cancer and he was quite old also, about 80+. After that chit chat, Eliza kept asking me to talk about my grandfather...EVERY night she will ask "Where's your ah-gong?" and Ww's one too. so here goes the lengthy explaining about which grandprarent is which. And i dunno how but Ww talked about dying and that one day we will die etc etc. It came to some point that she started crying cos dying means no more mummy & daddy. Oops..had to stop Ww cos i didn't feel she was ready to understand the concept of death...somehow.

Nowadays, it's still ok, i guess she does understand a bit better to the extent that it gets a little too explicit cos she'll comment, "My ah-gong haven't die yet" -_-

Another change

5 weeks that my FIL has been here. Time flies! My first week has been crazy and then we got used to the changes. Thankfully I managed to pass the driving test! phews! It helps a lot that i can drive.

5 more weeks to Ww returning. I really wonder what will we do in this 5 weeks! It's also time to get back to 'school' for Eliza as I've been slacking on that part. Maybe it's also cos we have been doing the Advent ornaments till Christmas and going out at unscheduled times. The only thing that makes weekend a weekend is that we go to church on Sunday. Else, we can go out anytime, to shopping, to do groceries. Feels a little too free eh?

To some extent, i like the differentiation of the weekday and weekend. Gee...seems like ever since i have kids, i like routines. After all, i watch Emily's routine and think about it all day (ok i'm exaggerating but it's always at the back of my mind). I've gotta make sure she's not overtired, especially since she can't sleep more than 20minutes, and plan our day around it. I know 20 mins is REALLY not enough for her, and unless i hold her to sleep she won't sleep more than that. She did a 1hr in the car seat that day (super wow) and one hour in my arms yesterday (actually the other 40mins in my arms cos she was just too cranky to wake up). I haven't got to the stage of getting her to learn to do a sleep hour, but i should soon, really.

And 5 weeks of a little slacking on the proper habits part..it's more difficult to get Eliza to sit still and finish her meals while my in-laws are here. She'll be popping here and there, my mil will be spoon-feeding her (something which i got her to stop doing cos Eliza can very well feed herself), and she'll be playing toys and eating (which i gotta discourage that cos my in-laws will bring toys so she can entertain herself and eat). Argh..  and other small things which start to nag me. It's the simple things that i'm glad Eliza is learning to do like putting her bowl at the sink after she finishes her food, putting her clothes in the laundry, not leaving her scissors around and always put it back in the box after using it etc. Little things. To keep doing until it becomes a habit.

Gee..when will i be organized enough to start reading the CM principles again? This is the age when i can finally use the many things mentioned in the book, and i have forgotten much of them. I don't want to be so caught up in getting things done in the house or getting Emily to sleep/eat/changed that I neglect this part of Eliza's growth. Habits of attention and obedience, this is difficult because I do find myself very distracted. If i am so, how can i expect the attention from her?

Anyway, i've been settling my problem tooth, (and the rest of the teeth to do deep cleaning) and hopefully after spending a bomb (cos of the many different appointments, which really won't be any different if it did it in SG), this issue will be settled and i will guai guai go for cleaning every 6 months. argh. it's in the genes. cos Ww doesn't ever ever floss and how come he has no problems with his teeth? i have to floss every nook, brush accurately and if i lag in anyway (like i'm lazy to floss or miss a brushing) something will happen to my teeth.

Oh well...a wonderful time to enjoy my mil's food and time for more baking with my mil around though! Yumsss!

2 weeks

2 weeks with in-laws and without Ww. We have kinda gotten the hang of things. Just that I take a long time to adjust eh? Then i need to get back on spending 'academic' time with Eliza...actually writing and reading.

We have been doing our Advent activities (which last about 5-10minutes only...u know these activities look 'grand' but we actually do them really fast, not that we wanted to do fast but it is done in like 10minutes!) We took these ideas from a ebook i bought at $2.99 on BlackFriday offer from Truth in the Tinsel. It takes the hassle of the preparation which i don't have the brain and time to do. I love it that the ornaments help us (and Eliza) remember the important parts of the birth of Jesus and it has a thinking point, which we don't go into too much depth cos Eliza's not too interested. One of the problems is that after moving here..I didn't bring all my 'rubbish' and craft materials so i've gotta get them from scratch. Although some things can be improvised...really, getting ribbons or gold strings beats having to use thread...and i realize i don't have much strings at home!

On Eliza and dresses
This girl ah...is getting to be more aware of her looks, wanting to wear dresses & skirts EVERYDAY! I wonder if it has got to do with all the girls at sunday school wearing dresses all the time! gee...so we have been getting some new skirts and dresses for her to add on to her current miserable collection. she has outgrown many and we don't usually dress her up in dresses unless it's a sunday or for special occasions. It's also cos in SG, after school it's lunch and nap and probably go out to the playground to play...not the right occasion for dresses! Still hope to get her to wear her shorts too..it needs some sun! :P

On Emily and her Eczema
Yeap..that dreadful eczema is still with Emily since mid-october. Not much i can do, but keep washing her face, keep applying the intense moisturizer, bathe her in bath oil, put the cream (which helps loads and on days when i have to give it a break, her face gets worse again!), turn on the humidifier at night (and not use so much water the room drips water!). If i'm sane enough in the middle of the night i'll try to apply the moisturizer too. The nights are worse cos we sleep, she sleeps and now that she rolls all over, she'll 'scrub' her face on the bed without me knowing so that i can stop her. As long as she doesn't cry, i continue sleeping right?

On what we do usually
Go out shopping! Yeap, my mil likes the grocery shopping and anywhere air-con. The UV here is too strong for her so going out for walks isn't quite something she wants to do. To some extent there isn't quite a routine here cos any day is a weekend feeling. :P Well in a way it's not too good cos things gets a bit haphazard and I have messed up Emily's nap training cos i haven't been consistent.
Else we'll be baking! I made 2 batches of food (peanut butter muffins & pizza muffins) for church event last week, my mil has been making her favourite rasin cake from the cake mix (& modify), and today she made cheesecake (not fluffy as she used to make though but delicious nonetheless. Gonna try a hand at cookies n cream cheesecake and some jelly stuff for saturday's sunday school party.
My fil has been a great help and is kept busy chopping and cutting food (cos he's so fast and good at it), hanging clothes at the clothes hanging area, playing with Eliza, carrying Emily when she cries (cos i'm bathing), driving, vacuuming. We're gonna miss him when he's not around! My mil has been cooking...and i do none! It is definately a relief to take a break from meal planning! And i won't get near the kitchen to cook much till she returns to SG..heheh.

In laws are here!

It has been a tough week. A week of much adjustments. I had a good week of sleep training Emily. (she did a record breaking 1.5hr nap the time my in laws arrived. Actually she slept through all the commotion...until my fil wanted to see her and kinda woke her up. Grrr. She was obviously upset having someone else greet her from her slumber). She managed to nap at least 30minutes. Not more but it has improved from 20minutes to 30 minutes. So i do get some quiet time to read or do activities with Eliza. 



It's also a tough week cos Ww and I have been doing driving practices everyday till today when i took the test. (which i failed). I'm ok with failing it, at least i know what i did not know! I probably need more practice but i do feel a little too overwhelmed and exhausted to do so now. It didn't help that today is also the day my second last molar acted up and was aching at night at the whole morning. We had to make a unscheduled trip to the dentist (which thank God there was a slot at 1pm) to get some antibiotics. The inflammation is easing out now, and i'm still a little exhausted. Actually i'm waiting for Emily to wake up from her sleep for her milk feed. I was expecting her to do so since 9pm but it's 10:50pm and she's still asleep! 


It was also overwhelming because as much as we were excited about my in-laws arrival, I realized how much I enjoyed being on our own. Yes, handling two kids isn't easy + cooking + teaching + getting a baby that doesn't sleep well to sleep + washing etc. But we have settled in our nice routines, Ww & I have found our sweet spot at night to do our stuff and chat, we got Eliza to be more independent (she wears her own clothes, can go toilet on her own..it's more challenging now without the potty and the tap that's difficult to turn, she falls asleep on her own for naps and bedtimes...etc). I have also found my ways of being efficient with the cooking and washing, something that is not gonna be the same with my mil around. She does more things to wash which i do find quite a chore like soaking the white clothes in dynamo and scrub, put all the clothes in the laundry bags (if the laundry bag is full, isn't there any space for it to be spinned and washed?), take a long time to chop the veg/meat or cook (i usually finish cooking in the mornings under 45minutes)...etc. Ww & I also know what to expect to do each time when we go out and I love the being in sync with him to do stuff....like we know what to do, how to handle the kids etc. 


Gonna super miss all that in the 9 weeks he is away. 


Feeling like this is a more difficult separation than the last 2 times, after having to live on our own, without having to depend on our parents for things. (yes it's great that my mil is here to cook and my fil to help out).


God give us strength in these weeks... that Ww can find what he needs to find, get what he needs to get, be safe in the freezing winter where he is going to, that I can find that peace of staying with my in-laws, and be able to survive without my FIL (our driver till i pass my driving test) after Christmas till Ww comes home. 

Finding the balance and flow

It does take time to find that fine balance for each day. I always wonder how SAHMs...with more than one kid, do it. I mean i read a lot of blogs where mums manage their homes with 3, 4, 5, or 6 and more kids! :O *screams* Ok...the kids do grow up and after having so many i guess you would have found that routine and balance to get things..and the food going.

So how am i getting on? I'm still learning..there are days where Eliza and I vegetate..ok not that bad but i let her run wild watching dvds (no more than 3 hours?) while i try to get Emily to sleep and stay asleep.  She doesn't watch that long also..cos she'll get inspired by something and run off doing something else while the computer stays paused. cute. There are days when i feel like i have accomplished things like washed the rugs, baked, did some packing, did mini projects with Eliza (argh..which reminds me of what activites i have left to prepare for tomorrow). Despite Emily's short naps and having to carry her when she's short-napped..i still do get things done and Emily does sit in her walker or roll on the playmat on her own.

It's good to know what to expect and of course having a baby throws that 'expectation' off course most of the time but since she's on some 'predictable' schedule i can plan things ahead. It is usually dependent on what time she wakes up in the morning. Why are kids such early risers? If she wakes up at 6am it's still ok..but not when she wakes up at 5am! The best is when she wakes up at 7am but that's still rare.. This is beacuse i have to calculate 2 hours from the last time she wakes to send her off to sleep. So complicated.

Food:
I cook in the morning during breakfast time, most of the time. Emily's in the best of mood and Ww's still home. Most of my chopping/cutting etc is done the night before, with the exception of leafy veg when i have to do that in the morning. I can't help but cook everyday though...there are days when i pull out our frozen stash from the freezer and just heat up but it's not much so i try not to use it except for days when i can't or don't have time to cook. I don't quite like to cook at the time closer to lunch time cos that's when I'm trying to get Emily to nap/continue napping/she just woke from a nap (=cranky). Never a good time to cook then when i can't predict what will happen. Usually dinner will just be heated up and i have my whole day to do whatever i want or plan for without worrying about our meals.
Weekly, there's always a pasta/spaghetti dish, mostly veg or meat with rice dishes, a noodle dish, and weekend picnicable food. Sometimes we just have homemade burgers & fries on the weekends. I don't quite like to repeat the meals but i find some dishes come up quite frequently just  because Eliza loves them. ie sweet and sour chicken, cauliflower (+broccoli & carrot) stir-fry, 'satay' chicken in whatever marinate, braised chicken wings, meatball pasta, ham & pineapple fried rice, spinach with ikan bilis...

Learning with Eliza:
Worship -
Every morning, even if we don't get to do any activities, we still start the day with prayer, a bible story from her children's bible and we read a verse. So far she can memorize two verses. Psalm 139:14 & Colossians 3:20 and we are working on 2-3 more. I'll read and she'll repeat after me. We'll continue as much as we can although i would want to move towards memorizing the verses the Charlotte Mason way. Gonna add some singing time to in the midst of this as well.

Writing -
We have been doing a lot of writing..learning to write the alphabets..now moving on beyond just tracing and to writing on her own. 26 alphabets is a lot to learn and we haven't even gone on to chinese words. She can write her name quite well.

Themes -
I'm starting to do more thematic stuff..so we are slowly starting on gardening & leaves and trees and flowers. There's so much resources on the web i wish i can glean through them all but doing it is more useful anyway. Eliza loves doing 'activities' and I wish i have more time to do them with her. I am amazed with mums who homeschool and manage their large household. Gosh how do they do that?

Days of the week -
Just that...we change it everyday at our fridge with the magnets :)

Reading -
As it is we read about 2 books every night and usually the same book, as per Eliza's choosing. In the day, we read sporadically and i try to read at least a Chinese book to her.

Outdoors -
We try to observe the outdoors especially now that it is spring, there are so many flowers around!

Would love to add more photos but with my 101 things to do...see my facebook then. heh.

More to update soon! my inlaws are coming on saturday and we are getting ready the place for their arrival! gotta sort Eliza's toys and her crafts cos it's all over the place!

Emily is 6 months!

Emily's First foods
It has been about a week since Emily started eating her first food. Bought brown rice, ground it (not very powdery enough though cos every time i start the blender Eliza runs to the far end of the house and i had to keep blending a few batches), and eventually cook it. Not too bad. On the 5th day i introduced sweet potato to her.
Somehow Emily doesn't really know how to swallow yet and everytime the spoon goes in her mouth, her tongue will intefere and push the food out. Still she managed to eat down about a 1-2 teaspoons of brown rice cereal. Most times she'll be grabbing the spoon and chewing on it...so i'm not too sure if it's the spoon or the food..hmm. Wondering how long will it be for her to know how to eat from the spoon. Gonna introduce avocado this weekend! Then apple and butternut squash.

Eliza's sleep
Eliza has been sleeping in her own room since my MIL left and it wasn't the easiest in the first few weeks but it does get better and has been better. The first few weeks had Ww in her room squeezing in her bed with her. We had some moments when i was so grouchy being woken up then i went to the room to scold her. Oh well...it's much much better now and she knows what is expected. She no longer cries when she wakes up in the morning and our little alarm clock will come to our room to cheerily find us to snuggle in or wake us up. "can you get up now..??? wake up!" Of course on days when she doesn't cry in the middle of the night (sometimes it's cos she couldn't turn her lullaby, or there's no water, or she just needs help adjusting her blanket etc), she gets a lollipop. (yes..there's a big pack of it hiding somewhere in the cupboards).
Also she has been getting on well falling asleep on her own after all the bedtime routines. I'll still stay in the room till she's drowsy and tell her i will go out and will check on her later. She'll tell me not to be too noisy when i check on her so that she won't wake up (her room door knob is creaky). It helps a lot that she doesn't fall asleep with us in the room so that there's no expectation of us there when she wakes in the middle of the night.
Wonder if it's back to square one when my in laws come...

Emily's face
Dear oh dear...this little girl's face has been ruined by her sleeping on her tummy. We have stopped putting her on her tummy to sleep cos she'll rub her face silly till her skin becomes raw..urgh! She does that when we carry her and when i Beco her but a lot worse when she's on her tummy. So we have to pur her on her back to sleep again. It wasn't the best for some nights..not any better for naps either. The past two days i'll rock her to sleep and put her down for her short short naps and continue her nap in the Beco. For nights, it's a little unpredictable but i'm seeing a pattern, as in i need to get her to the bedtime routine in 1.5hrs from when she last woke so that she isn't overtired. Just a little and i'm settling her every half to one hour till the dreamfeed.
Her face is also much better now...we put plaster on her right side of her face and i put QV moisturiser as often as i can, the prescribed cream for eczema in the mornings and nights. but as long as she rubs on our clothes or i just put her on her tummy once, and we'll be back to square one easily.

(photos soon)