Sunday, February 24, 2008

The library

The library is a wonderful source of parenting books and children's books. I found books i would have bought but because it's at the library i can save $$ and photocopy pages that are useful though i may buy one or two books that i really like. Parenting books are at the children section and initially i thought the library was lousy cos it didn't have a single parenting book...ok so i was looking at the wrong place. Recently i went to check out the books at the children's section and there were really nice baby books...even good chinese books.

I borrowed this book "Positive discipline - the first three years" cos i was getting sick of all the "sleep" books...was looking for something new to read. and it's quite a gd book...examples help me understand the concepts they were talkin about...anyway this i found good, which really makes me appreciate that all babies are really unique. why? cos ppl will say oh your baby so guai and quiet, oh your baby so friendly or unfriendly, oh your baby so...etc etc and if you have a easy baby you're lucky, if not you're blessed as well, and handling a less adaptable, or more distracted baby/toddler requires understanding of their temperament..not that one baby is better than the other.

In summary of one of the chapters:
Temperament: What makes your child unique?
The 9 temperaments:
1. Activity level
2. Rhythmicity
3. Approach or Withdrawal
4. Adaptability
5. Sensory Threshold
6. Quality of mood
7. Intensity of Reactions
8. Distractibility
9. Persistence and attention span

too much blah blah blah to go into detail of these but i can't fully tell Eliza's temperaments yet i feel cos i think she's still changing but i like what they talk about Kindness & Firmnesss..:
Kindness shows respect for the child and his uniqueness;
Firmness shows respect for the needs of the situation, including a child's developing need to learn social skills.

the authors are not for spanking or nagging, esp children at this age cos they're just doing their developmentally appropriate behavior and their reasoning capability is not yet matured so they encourage training, not punishment, appropriate distraction and choices. so...
1. Toddlers are too busy following their developmental blueprint to do what you say - most of the time
2. "No" is an abstract concept that an not be understood by toddlers in the way parents think they can understand
3. Children and always "good", but they are not always obedient - especially during the development of autonomy.

hmm..interesting :)

No comments: