Thursday, July 30, 2009

Focus on the Family

Something is wrong with my blogger...i can only write on the preview part and there's no nice space to write my text and add photos. that's why i've not been updating.

Anyway, i've been reading the "Focus on the Family" part of the Today papers recently. and to help me remember (ok one day if i ever look back in the blog), i'll just add the quotes here or on my other blog of some parts that i find really helpful.

I've also recently been listening to Marshill Church's sermons on Proverbs which also has this part about children which has helped me understand a lot of things (hopefully i remember them too!), about the goal of parenting, about teaching children, about the right focus etc. one fine day, i need to summarize them somewhere...

Today's "focus on the family" article was "A mind of their own". Obviously we want our kids to know how to think and it's true that they don't always make the best decisions. So how?

"That’s why parenting by trying to control doesn’t work.
Instead of forcing them to obey, we
need to instill in them a desire to be
And that’s done through developing
a loving, caring relationship from the
earliest age."

Saturday, July 18, 2009


For the past month or so we have talked about Eliza's future education. Ww would prefer she grows up in an international school environment or a homeschooling environment. Mainly, Ww being a teacher, feels that the primary school education is so competitive that it robs the kids of their childhood and a proper attitude to learning (my rephrasing). Not that it doesn't have any great advantages cos SG has one of the best educational system in the world. Then again, it depends on who carries out the teaching and how they teach.

So far a while we were getting quite pro-homeschooling. But we didn't have much information about it. And a very low percentage of kids in SG are homeschooled, i heard getting your kids to be homeschooled is quite difficult in SG too. We considered many factors and for now, the conclusion is to still send her to public school and ground her well at home. After all, there are good kids in schools.

Sometimes i wonder if i should send Eliza to some class or playgroup to let her learn stuff as it seems like the kids who go to childcare learn a lot and very fast. Then again, i'm reminded by a mum who wrote a reply on the forum arguing whether it matters that kids learn their abcs by 18mths or learn super facts by a certain certain age. It doesn't necessarily make them smarter than the kid next door or a high flyer in future. So true...and in our (ww & I) discussions we understood that it is the way they learn, how they aquire knowledge, their interest to learn that matters. Something about deductive and inductive knowledge/teaching that Ww was talking about. After all, most of the facts i learnt in my secondary/jc school days didn't help me much for my university studies anyway. Architecture was about analysis, deducing, exploration, design. Not much facts my literature, economics, physics or maths helped much. Maybe the thinking did.

On the other hand, with so many tuition, enrichments, exams stuff for education for kids, i sometimes can't help like want to go with the flow of the competition...after all who doesn't want their kid to be better / smarter, whatever.

I want to keep on remembering this when i get swept off in the race for edcation, quoting Dreamer
"education is afterall, not just about acquiring knowledge. it is about building one's character. building friendships. preparing us to contribute to the society we live in." and i add "to mould one to have godly character" something which can be quite lacking in public schools.

What a challenge! I feel that being a parent is one of the most life changing thing God is doing in my life to mould me inside out. It makes me put a mangifying glass on my own character, my own way of doing things etc...and realize that i'm so imperfect and that i have so much i need to change.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Focus on the Family

I love reading the "Focus on the Family" section of the Today newspaper. While i barely manage to pick up the Today paper in the mornings on my way to work (cos they distrubute so early!!), i'll catch up with it at home online.

Few days ago i read about teaching kids how to use their money wisely. Couldn't find the online article already but essentially the writer encourages parents to teach their kids to set aside the money given in this manner:
10% - Giving
10% - Investment
10% - Savings
70% - Spending

It's still a long way before we start teaching Eliza about using money wisely...still it's a good reminder, even for my own management of my money. I'm just lacking on the investment part which Ww usually manages.

Actually i wanted to quote today's article on Today online by Dr Bill Maier...

Kids need parents as much as they need air and water.
Our acceptance and approval are critical to their sense of self-worth.
That’s why it’s important to look for opportunities to connect with our kids, and build into their future.

Use mornings as a time of encouragement. Experts say that the first five minutes you spend with your child are the most important, so don’t take that time lightly.

Give them a big hug and a hearty
smile, and let that set the tone for the entire day.
After school, ask them how their studies went.
Talk to them about whatever is on their mind, whether it’s sports or friends, or even girls.
And listen.

This is how you get to know what’s going on in their world.
Finally, put them to bed with a hug, and another word of encouragement."

i'm appreciating the joy of connecting with Eliza at whatever moment of the day...hugging her, giving her a few seconds of talking about the book that she has flipped open during my morning prep b4 work, asking her about her day (even though she doesn't reply me much)...
in the end they are the ones who matter more than our work, our hobbies or the money that we can earn.

Luv u Eliza :) You're my sunshine

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Fun Eliza

When friends ask me how Eliza is (when she's not sick but in general), the first thing that comes to mind is: fun! So many silly and funny things that Eliza does everyday that we'll tell the stories to whoever comes home that evening. Usually it's my mil telling me/Ww what interesting stuff Eliza's up to that day, or me telling Ww/my mil what interesting funny stuff Eliza's up to that day. The stories go on and on and even Eliza joins in to agree in what she has done.

And almost every night Ww & I will rave about her. Even my in-laws who went to Malacca over the weekend would be talking about her at night before they sleep and missed her like crazy when they came home from their short trip.

Ww will always say that no matter how tired or busy or bad a day he had at work, when he sees her when he comes home, everything fades away and she just brightens up his day.

Fun have a kid isn't it? :D

Stuff Eliza has been up to:
My mum bought this 2-piece puzzle set (which is really very ex!!! there's only 6 pieces and it's $19+ before discount). Initially she didn't quite know how it works, and then for a few days all she did was fix the aeroplane. but very soon she learnt to piece it all...quite end of story huh? Not really, she takes it out at least once a day and pieces it all together, throw it in her car boot or bucket to bring it around the house. really, there's more ways to play it than just puzzling it.

There are days when she'll wake up from her nap, still sleepy. usually i'll be watching tv during her mid-day nap, so i'll bring her out to the sofa and if she's still sleepy she'll doze off at the sofa...actually i went to the kitchen to get something and my fil was trying to cut her fingernails but i think she kinda turned away to avoid having her nails cut.

Sometimes we'll tell her she can help us do this or that next time (esp when it comes to housework like folding the clothes, washing the dishes...etc). One day she'll learn the skill of choosing and peeling/sorting vegetables.

You know how all household items are toys? That time the cds was a fad for her. She'll open all the cds (much to our horror and much to her delight) and empty it of the cds. We eventually set aside her cd corner where she can destroy the cds and mess it out without us trying to stop her. Seems like spinning the cds is a new skill she learnt herself....

Eliza loves doing this....

It's really quite silly and she enjoys it, from hats to buckets to boxes.

Yeap...and peek-a-boo mummy!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Nighttime milk

Eliza has been waking up at night for milk at least twice at night for the past 3-4weeks or so. It was ok when she's sick cos she wasn't eating much in the day and i thought she might be hungry by then. Until i started to sense that she's asking for milk so that she can get out of the room. She still drinks the milk, though not much.

I was concerned about the wanting to get out of the room when nighttime is supposed to be sleep time + that the milk drinking at night is one of the highest cause of tooth decay in toddlers under 4.

Seeing that she's better, and getting so frustrated with the night disturbances by her we decided not to give in on these demands by her as it wasn't beneficial to anyone of us.

Day 1:
She had a struggle going to sleep cos she was overtired and was getting second wind. She woke at 12mn wanting to get out of the room but i didn't allow her, plus seeing that the lights were on outside, i was more reluctant to go out of the room to an exciting lighted environment. So i carried her while she trashed and cried and whined and called ah-ma for help and struggled. Had to keep telling her nighttime is for sleeping and not going outside to play. Eventually she was probably tired and was satisfied enough drinking her water to calm down. She fell asleep in my arms and i managed to put her in her bed and i slept a good 6hrs.

Day 2:
She had a better time going to bed without trying to pull ah-ma into the picture and trying to run away from me. All in all, it was quite a happy & peaceful bedtime. I reminded her that there'll be no milk at night till the next morning. She woke at 230am and asked for milk. And there we go again...the crying and struggling and trashing and wailing till she was calmed down drinking her water. It didn't take tooo long though..about 15mins? Eventually she woke at 6+am for milk which i felt was ok, plus daddy and ah-ma was up by then. The good thing was she finished all her milk...only to fall back to sleep till 9am!

Day 3:
I reminded her that there won't be any milk at night till morning many times. Especially since she refused to drink her milk before bedtime. I reminded her that if she doesn't drink her milk, there won't be anymore till morning. Somehow halfway trying to go to sleep, she did take her milk bottle and finished it all (though i only made half of the normal amount she usually drinks cos she always doesn't finish it!).
Pray i'll stay firm and not give in to her demands for milk at night and have the patience to ride through this with her. Wonder how long it'll take before she gets out of this habit.

I'm learning about being firm. Learning that toddlers are really testing their limits and if you stick to your guns, they'll eventually get the point, though not without some crying involved. Learning that as a parent, we need to have the wisdom & discretion to teach and guide our kids. I feel like the territority of discipline is in sight already and that's more challenging than providing the physical needs.

We're learning....searching for God's guidance in His Word (Proverbs is really helpful), searching for examples in the examples of His people, seeking God for things we have no direction about or ideas about doing some things. What a journey!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Recovering Eliza

A good gauge of how Eliza is getting better...her appetite. My Mil told me today that she's eating more and drinking more milk. So that's a good sign...and now her mucus is getting thicker and drying up. I still hear her phlegmy throat but it seems lesser now. Thank God :)

Here's what silly stuff we've been up to while we got stuck at home.

Looking at photos...interestingly, she loved the page with my mum's photo and she'll go 'popo popo popo' and keep wanting to go back to that page

Hanging between the table and sofa

Making us ride on her scooter or car and drive around the house....she loves getting daddy to sit on the car though, so she'll keep asking daddy to sit sit sit. She'll say 'go go go' or 'beep beep'

Trying to wear shoes on her own...actually the crocs and her other Pediped is the only one she will wear...this one she's trying out is still too big for her.

It's the baluobo song that daddy started singing, inspired by Eliza trying to pull out the magnetic door stopper.

Ok this is not silly but she was napping while we were watching a movie...and she'll occasionally wake up doze off, find some nice corner (like me) and doze off again

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sick week update

As of this afternoon, Eliza's fever has gone away (i hope!) and it's one less meds to eat! yays!
Still after saturday's 2nd doctor's visit, there's 2 more new meds to eat
~ 1 powdered packet to decrease phelgm
~ 2.4ml white meds to open airways and decrease cough
~ 2.4ml orange meds to reduce runny nose
~ 2.5ml antibiotics
no more fever medicine to eat! and that means hopefully no more forcing medicine down her throat at 1am.

We feel like in our own world since thursday when i came home from work, we didn't attend any gatherings/meetings/church/gym class at all. Not that it's the h1n1 thingy but with the little cranky girl and coughing and fever, it just not really ideal to go out. So we will be home, watching a lot of tv, playing a lot of games with Eliza or reading with her. Since friday we were not able to get Eliza to eat much nor drink her milk at the right time (her hidden milk time seems to be 4am & 11am nowadays..super weird..she wouldn't drink in the morning when she wakes, wouldn't drink in the afternoon or before she goes to most it's 20ml...sigh). She's gonna quickly lose the weight she gained since her diarrhoea bout.

Still, we did go out. It's torturous to coop a little active girl in the house so any 'gaigai' is a great release for her. We'll go downstairs to buy dinner, or take a walk at the park and go to the playground. So far we took a short trip to T3 for lunch, a Eliza-sleeping trip to ikea (cos she fell asleep on the van on the way there and only woke when we were going home), and a CS,TM,T1 trip today.
I forgot to bring her pacifier along and somehow she wasn't dead tired enough to fall asleep and ended up staying awake till bedtime. By then i guess after her tiny dinner, she got her second wind and it was sooo difficult to get her to bed. Nonetheless, we did, with much crying and struggling and eventually with me carrying her to sleep in my arms. Worst part was that when i sat down to rest my back, she'll cry and struggle so i have no choice but to hold her till she's deeper into her sleep. I suspect a restless night for her, considering the sleep deprivation usually leads to a bad night sleep. sigh....

A good thing from this week of illness is that Eliza & daddy is much closer. She was hugging daddy's arm on the way home in the van today, chanting 'daddy daddy daddy...' in a sing song manner so sweeet. :)

Friday, July 3, 2009

Eliza is sick

It's not fun to be sick and certainly not fun to take care of a sick little girl. It all started on monday when we heard her coughing but other than that she was fine. Then tuesday daddy was sent home cos he had fever, he went to see a doc and was given two days mc. On wed, Eliza's fever started to come in and was still quite manageable with the fever meds and her other flu+cough meds from her last round of sickness in end apr. But by thurs her fever was going quite high like about 38.6-38.8. Ww & my mil wanted to bring her to the doc and usually the PD's really quite packed in the morning so i told them to go like at 2pm but cos she was quite seh~ they wanted to take her to the clinic downstairs. The doc gave her a pill in her butt and that brought her temperature down quite fast. Took half day leave cos i had 2 somewhat miserable sick people at home.

Anyway it has been an up and down fever roller coaster ride till today...i hear more phelgm collecting within Eliza when she coughs. I'm wondering whether to take her to the PD if she doesn't get better by sunday. Worried it might develop to something more serious...considering daddy has already been to the doc 3 times and on mc for a week!!

Plus she's not into drinking her milk or drinking water (and she needs to drink more water), and starting this evening she lost interest in eating anything much. managed to get her to eat half a slice cheese, 1/8th of her porridge and no milk (making her drink milk was like making her drink her meds)...wasted 150ml of milk :S. It could be a bad painful sore throat. if this goes on..she'll be losing weight from her 10kg to far she has already lost 400g!! so fast!

Praying she'll get better tomorrow.

Thursday's peak of fever
From Days of Eliza

So sian while she watches her BabySigning Time to cheer her up
From Days of Eliza

Finally dozes off drinking milk and after that water.
From Days of Eliza

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This week with daddy

It's a normal week of work for me. Only that daddy's at home with Eliza & my mil. That's because he was having fever on tues, went to see doc who gave home 2 days mc. He didn't get any better and he's on another 2 days mc. Eliza's also sick with fever, sore throat and cough and some runny nose which got better today; just like daddy.

So interesting...with daddy at home this week, now Eliza's stuck to daddy. She rather have daddy than ah-ma!

My mil says that Eliza's very obedient when she's home with her. Unlike when we're home, she'll be stuck to us, want us to carry her, play with her, be with her etc. Normally, even when my mil isn't home, and i'm busy with cooking, she'll tend to clamour for my attention after ransacking the kitchen. My mil says she doesn't do that to her. Gee...i wonder why. Maybe she misses us, considering she sees ah-ma like almost 7days a week and mummy's usually off to work for 4 full days.

One day when she's older and can talk more I'll ask her why.