thoughts

It's late.
I should be sleeping (or expressing milk...last i expressed was 9pm..it's 3hrs le..should i should i not?)
I juz wanna have some quiet time. to reflect this 2 months plus of life with Eliza. tho i think i'll go to zz soon. eyes getting sleepy. (i'm not too good at 12mn to 7am sleep with 4-5am waking up...last time i can last 5hr night sleep leh)

I'm starting work on monday...again it's another of my first.
- first time being away from Eliza for so long (abt 12hrs!);
- first time i'll express milk in office (obviously);
- first time i'll need to sterilize the pump outside (and i haven't bought the microwavable sterilizing bag...wanted to buy today at kiddy palace but they don't sell it..have to go OG tmr to buy)
- first time i'll leave Eliza to my mil to care the whole day
- first time i'll stretch expressing milk for so long in the daytime (on and off, in my mind i'm thinking what time i'll need to EM in the morn, at work, and when i come back. what time i'll have to wake up in the morn to get all the things done and Eliza fed by 8am so i can go to work, what time i need to be home to send her to sleep, to EM...so many details i have to plan ahead of time)
with all these things...i'm praying hard i don't doze off at work...and coming home it's another endless 'work'. i'm not complaining but i'm wowed by the amount of things to be done, no wonder they say a mother's job is like a sacrifice. i mean i can don't care but i can't. even if it means to sacrifice my 'me' time.

at the same time there are other things to nurture,
- my r/s with family
- r/s with Ww - we try to do friday date nights and go out w/o baby...we squeezed out a 1 1/2hr on cny eve after Eliza's bedtime to go drink coffee and chat..Ww still wanted to watch movie...i wasn't too keen on that tho. recently Ww's been super duper bz at work that he'll be out at 645am (while i'm asleep) and back at 930pm...by then he's bished out..with endless emails to reply, and mountains of marking to do...it still doesn't end when he's back. so we're hoping things will be better after the EV. anyway the CNY has been a rather good break for him...(he's been zzing since 8pm! @#)$(@%)@ ...on the account of the super tiring week i let him off..otherwise i'll get him to send Eliza to sleep etc etc etc)
- my cellgrp
- my time alone with God
- my other interests
- my friends

from the devotional 31 days of parenting...which gave me a conviction that moving to 3 day work week, not just to elevate my mil's load & merely spend more time with Eliza, it's because she's my baby God has entrusted. and while working less means having less financially (we haven't factored this in yet in our financial planning yet :S ), i believe it's something we are sure we won't regret.

1 Corinthians 4:2 " Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful"

An African proverb says, "It takes a village to raise a child." ...One cannot deny the vast degree of influence culture has on children. Each child is greatly impacted by his friends, teachers, coaches, scout leaders, and possibly even his favourite sports heroes and music stars. The 'village' certainly plays a significant role in human development. However, the 'village' does not have to answer to God for what it did with your cihldren. You will have to answer to God for how you parented. The village has not been entrust with anything. You have been entrust with the responsibility of raising your child to the best of your ability. ...He has entrusted you with the raising of His child. Others play a crucial part of a child's upbringing, but the responsibility rests with you. God has given you a trust, and His desire is that you fully embrace this reponsibility and do everything within your power to prove faithful with the life to which He has entrusted you.

happy new year!