Monday, September 15, 2008

Managing expectations and rationalizing

Mummies understand their babies best, don't we?

Then again, with all the books telling us this and telling us that, with well meaning friends and family advising on all kinds of ideas, we set ourselves up for frustrations. I admit that i do place some expectations on Eliza, only to be reminded that our lil girl is a baby and that she's as unique as fingerprints. I had more expectations in the earlier months when i read things where baby should be this or that, you should do this or that. It's only when reading a range of books with different mindsets, that i was able to see in-between and choose or let things take it's course. It's also when i catch glimpses of how our heavenly Father parents us, His children, that i understand things a little better, let go a little more.

Talking about frustration, it happens when our babies don't do what we hope them to do. It's not those developmental stuff like crawling or talking or skills. For me it's more of the little little things, and the only one i can think of now is, sleep. I can't say Eliza's a bad sleeper, but there are several occasions when getting her to sleep frustrates me to bits. I do try to get prepared to send her off to sleep when she shows the first signs of tiredness (scratching face, yawning), unless it's a really boring environment, my curious little ball of energy will be raring to go, even in her familiar bedroom. The play in the evening doesn't help her prepare for sleep, but it can't be helped somestimes cos it's when Ww & me are back home and we really are so happy to see her. Last sunday, i realized that it has taken me a sermon to get her to fall asleep. She was sleepier than usual cos she slept late & woke up early and was yawning away even before 9am. I didn't really want to keep her awake, cos i know she will surely be cranky by the time service is over. This evening it has taken me 1hr to get her to sleep...with the help of milk.
On the two occasionas, she has dozed off, her eyes drooping, but for some reason, which i think it's her brain telling her to stay awake, she started crying and wouldn't stop till i brought her to a lighted place with fun things to check out. Oh my lil sleep-resister. She got me so frustrated that i had to tell her sternly that it's time to sleep. Then again, many times i can't help laughing at her playfulness. She was so determinded to crawl out of the bed, she even got down our bed on her own! (and our bed kinda high) gessh! So this evening, finally slept at 930pm. Her first signs of sleepiness? 730pm. Now i wonder what they say about putting yr baby down to sleep first at the signs of sleepiness is right. hmm...

Then again, there's this indecision of whether i should let her sleep in a more independent manner. the playpen is out for getting her to sleep. it's a PLAYPEN. though it's also a cot. my bed has some 20% rates of getting her to sleep, after many roll-a-bouts. Carrying her has some 45% rates of getting her to sleep. It all started when she can't sleep due to her runny nose, so we'll carry her upright so she can fall asleep. It's been a really nice position to sleep nowadays, just that she'll slide down to my chest, do her face rub and 10-15minds later, hopefully, fall asleep. 35% success rate of getting her to sleep, is milk for bedtime. the easiest, i would say.
all the talk about putting your baby in the cot to let her fall asleep on her own, i start to wonder if it's a myth. I recently went to A's place for baby playtime and watch her 4mths+ son fall asleep in the playpen, watching the mobile. I am amazed! I can't remember how i got 4mths+ Eliza to sleep already, but i think she was more figety. Ok, all babies are different.

Maybe i should just hope she outgrows the drinking milk to sleep and carrying to sleep. I wonder if i should try her on the yaolan. I suspect she'll attempt to crawl out of it.

On rationalizing
I realize that being a mum makes you rationalize everything about your baby, until you run out of ideas. like why doesn't she eat, why doesn't she sleep, why does he sleep so much, why she needs milk suddenly at 4am...and the list never ends. Sometimes there are many possibilities for the situation, but i think it's just something we do to assure ourselves.
We say a lot of it when we report to each other about our day with Eliza, what she did etc etc etc. She didn't drink so much milk because...She can't sleep because...she did this because...

Then again, I think it helps us understand our little girl better. If the same thing happens more than once, it confirms that occurance. and slowly that understanding of her is built up.

Mid-autumn festival weekend

I think it's because of her little nap, a good milk meal and lesser people around bugging for a piece of her, she is a little friendlier after church.

lucky ladies....manage to carry Eliza. (a lil break for mummy! :P )

Eliza clapping her hands...if you're happy and you know it "clap your hands"...@ great-grandpa's birthday celebration. hmm..where are the people?

Playing with cousin Alger...this is one of the series this one in particular. gee..should have pushed that mattress behind away...

too hype up to sleep...yesterday she discovered that she can peel off those cards on the wall...oh she's actually trying to scratch the blu-tack off from the wall. thanks ah Eliza.

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