Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The heart issue + dealing with a sick toddler

The heart issue...
Parenting is a heart issue. I love reading from this homeschooling mum, her insights on parenting, the stuffs she does with her kids. It's like learning from a mentor. I've learnt much from her and i love some of the things she writes in this entry.

"Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.
This is the secret formula to the successful passing on of values: the parent must have his child's heart. By that, I believe the Bible would be alluding to the child's affection, adoration, deep respect, and importantly trust that you love him and always have his welfare at heart. It is only when we have the heart of the child that the child will happily obey and observe and follow our ways- even when their flesh and sinful desires tell them otherwise. And when a child will be wise to obey his loving parents, therein will he find safety and protection and blessing. It is no coincidence that God also wants His children's hearts. "

"Importantly, love each child as unique individuals who have different talents and abilities, different weaknesses. Do not fall into the trap of measuring everyone by the same yardstick because not everyone can measure up the same way."

She also writes about dealing with a child hitting when he's angry, and for me it's Eliza throwing things when she is upset she's not getting her way. (no wonder we say people are childish when the get angry and throw things...i see a child in action like that!)
I realized that i have been focusing on her throwing things and i neglected to address her anger at not getting her way. This has been such a timely reminder about addressing the heart of the issue and not the behavior.
It's like an eureka moment. Thank God for guiding me to her blog, to reading this and i learn from it. Really. God's amazing.

At the same time i was also reading the Pupose driven life devotional today and the verse was also on the same matter.

A man's heart reflects the man. Proverbs 27:19 (NIV)
"Where did those interests come from? They came from God!
God had a purpose in giving you these inborn interests. Your emotional heartbeat is a key to understanding your shape for service. Don't ignore your interests; consider how they might be used for God's glory. There is a reason that you love to do these things."

Dealing with a sick toddler...
I wonder if being sick makes Eliza more irritable, more impatient, more prone to tantrums, sudden impulses, waking up more times at night etc. I feel like i tread the delicate line of giving her more slack cos she's having a runny nose/blocked nose and to still not give in on some of the rules and basic manners that we expect of her.
ie. she refuses to let me make the bed cos she wants to do it on her own...i let her, though not without her almost breaking into a upset-almost-going-to-fly-into-tears-and-rage mess. That little time frame between me saying and backing away from the issue at hand is sometimes just not fast enough. and her displeasure is only accented by her not being able to get what she wanted to do in the first place.

This is what i meant her being so touchy and ready to explode anytime.

Nowadays with more demands from her to do this, eat that, watch this now, do this now etc. There's a lot of distraction to be done, a lot of "No. Now now"s. I find myself being the bad guy around (as compared to my in-laws who are a lil more likely to give in than me).

This week is slightly better. I'm just praying that this is only a phase of due to her sickness and not so much of her character. Still it's a learning point for all of us, for her as well.

I just pray she gets well has been slightly over a week since she got sick last tuesday, and despite her cough and phelgmy-ness cleared, she's still having a slight runny nose that's disturbing her sleep at night. (which means my sleep gets disturbed too cos she'll keep waking up even after she has gone down for bedtime.) tonight she has woken up at least 4 times since she fell asleep earlier.

Nonetheless, she's still the cutie pie and full of fun :)

1 comment:

Jaclyn said...

I totally understand what you mean. Hang in there! Both my kids and I are coughing real bad esp at night. It wakes them up and they find it hard to get back to sleep. Things should get better when they are well. It is normal for them to be unreasonable and throw more tantrums when they are ill. Give Eliza more comfort in terms of hugs, kisses and TLC but don't budge at all in terms of rules.