Thursday, April 7, 2011

Handling conflicts

I'm finding that as Eliza grows older, we are finding that we need to teach her how to handle other kids, especially those who are not the nicest to her. She isn't an aggressive girl at all, and at most she is very very possessive of her things or things she wants to play, so the issue of sharing a touchy one, else it is really up to her mood. And her best defense? CRY..cry very loud. Quite useful though.

School is one good platform. So other than she telling us about her crying in school of other what we parents see is normal issues, (like the first time she had her music lessons after school, she cried cos she thought she was going home after her formal school hours). She has told me she cried cos she pulled her hood from the jacket too low and got stuck, though her friend helped her out. (i wanted to laugh like mad..but couldn't in front of her). But there are times when her friend took her colour pencil/paper/toy etc...and then pinched her face...or recently when her friend took her star sticker (because she told her friend "i got star sticker, you don't have"...great..).
Generally these are small issues, part and parcel of growing up.

But on sunday, when we went to airport for dinner with her cousins, they were playing and running around at the viewing gallery, when a little girl about Eliza's age, i think, came and somehow either wanted to play with them or what...she kinda clasped her hands on Eliza's face and slapped her. It wasn't hard, i guess cos there was no red marks on Eliza's face but it was shocking to her for sure. Her cousin, Alger was there and he was trying to shield her but he couldn't seem to and the girl still got Eliza. We saw that whole incident unfold before our eyes, but we were too far (you know how huge viewing malls are), and we were stunned because it happened out of the blue. It's not like you can see a fight brewing because someone wanted something.
My SIL probably knew cos this girl did something similar to Xuanxuan earlier, and got told off by my SIL. Ww demanded that the girl (and her sister) bring us to their parents but the they seemed dumbfounded, and that little girl was covering her ears with her slightly older sister (or twin sister) trying to protect her. We probed on until Ww asked an old man (which probably looked related to them) whether he knows them, and then that old man admitted that they are his grandchildren, and that they are very naughty. Great...he is there seeing all that happen and still pretended he doesn't know them?? Anyway we told him what happened, and asked that he do something about it, and we walked away. The girl did get reprimanded cos we heard her crying as we walked away. I guess that made Eliza feel better that some justice was made?
Eliza still talked about it that night and made a joke that the girl hit her and she is spoilt...pretending to fall over. least she got over it.

On hindsight, when Ww & I talked about the incident that night, he felt he should have gotten the girl to apologize and also that it could have been a teaching point for Eliza on forgiveness. But as first time parents, having this happen to us for the first time, we were just too blur to know what to do at that point of time.

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