Just so i don't forget....from the time Eliza was aware of the people around her, not much people are lucky enough to carry her, or at least without her protesting violently. I kinda accepted that and didn't try to force her away. So if she takes to anyone carrying her, that's good; if she doesn't that so be it.
Recently after a visit to a friend's house, Eliza let my friend's hubby carry her...willingly. We told them, they must be really lucky. And then from CNY onwards, she was friendlier to people than she used to before. Nowadays, if you request to carry her, she would generally oblige.
This somehow just shows that on some things, kids just have their timing, as in when they are ready, they will be. Still it's not that easy to determine which are things that we let them naturally be ready to do stuff and which are the things we decide that they should do so. Take potty training, they will learn it when they are ready, yet if we don't provide the environment, will they learn it?
How about reading? I read stuff where people say that the right age is 6yrs, that we shouldn't rush them into it, that we should let their interest help them and not force them when they aren't ready. I've also ready stuff where many others say that the earlier the better. I like the earlier the better, but i guess 2.5yrs isn't the age they are ready anyway. I'm also starting to teach Eliza to listen to me finish reading the page, before flipping the page. We have enjoyed lots of spontaneity while reading. Nowadays, with familiar books, she tells me not to read them while she's readying -_-'
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Stuff we do
"Very good very good"
Yesterday, Eliza had a trip with my in-laws to NTUC to buy groceries and they passed by the toy section. I'm not sure if my mil had planned to buy the toys for her or that she saw her so excited at seeing the toys that she wanted to buy something for her. Some of the toys must be quite high up so my mil pointed to a ironing toy set and asked her if that's the one she wants and Eliza replied "yes, yes. very good very good".
My mil was so amused by her that she just had to recount it to all of us a few times. I think Eliza must have found it quite fun to say that so I've been hearing it the whole day (or more like b4 i go out for work and when i came back)
SCO Children's Concert
This is Eliza's 2nd 'formal' concert. The first one was at Victoria Concert Hall with complimentary tickets given by Lynette. She was only about almost 12 months then...i think. When i saw one organized by SCO at quite an affordable price of $12 per person (yes Eliza has to pay too!), i just had to bring her. I know she loves music and somehow orchestras seem to captivate her quite a bit with the big group of people playing instruments together.
So i prepared her the night before, telling her that we're going to the concert etc etc. Too bad it was a friday, else Ww would have joined us as well.
Anyway the concert teaches kids about the terms for fast and slow in music & about conducting. Eliza wasn't paying much attention when all the talking was on, but when the music played she was moving or conducting away. The only 'inconvenience' was she saw the kindergarten kids going out of their seats and she asked me where they're going. I said that they're going the toilet and she wanted to go too! We went. She sat on the toilet bowl and declared that she was done. No pee. geee..
She had a good time i know. When i was explaining to her about an advertisement with an outdoor concert, she declared that she wanted to go to a concert. So now she has gotten the concept of a concert.
Helix Bridge Walk
So we did the usual stuff that most other Singaporeans did, walk the Helix bridge. We were just finding somewhere to go and something to do. It was a nice walk anyway, with Ww carrying her quite a bit cos she was scared. I can't remember what of.
Art park
Some hexagonal step lights that captivated her so much she didn't realize we were so far away.
Sungai Buloh
Yes we went there...i can't believe it is in such a ulu part of the world. Even the drive in was so ulu. My sil & her boys were there for a walk. And we were to join them though we were quite late.Eliza was still napping then but woke up after 1hr of nap cos the terrain was just too bumpy as we pushed the stroller. Anyway we saw squirrels, horseshoe crabs, lots of fishes, lots of monitor lizards. It was fun tho the route was just too long. I'll probably plan for another trip there someday. the 5hr walk to the freshwater pond sounds quite intimidating though.
Drawing
We're doing a lot of drawing...or more like Eliza giving us the crayon/colour pencil and asking us to colour/draw. It's her super favourite time cos maybe she has our attention during the drawing time.
I try to take photos of the drawings that we've made...usually with scribbles added by Ww, my mil and me...occasionally her cousins or our guests.
Recently she has taken a full love for painting...she super loved it when we did it during the parent-toddler class...now she'll mention it almost everyday, especially since we have been doing painting (from finger to hand to sponge to paintbrush painting) at home.
Stuff Eliza says and does
- She'll pat hers or our tummy and say "tummy big big" in her very funny way. So much for daddy getting her to say i'm fat!
- She saw the floor outside the kitchen toilet to be slightly wet and she asked "why so wet?" in the tone my mil would have said
- I was telling her that i'm going to work and she said "mummy come back", as if wanting me to come back immediately. so i had to convince her that i'll be back, at night.
- she/we farted and she'll in her very amused manner ask "who poot poot?!"
It's such a joy seeing my little girl grow up, hearing her talk (and hearing myself through her cos what i say, she picks it up and takes after me somehow), learning with her and knowing her. Ww & I will swoon over the stuff she has done that day and is obviously proud of her, like every parent would be.
Yesterday, Eliza had a trip with my in-laws to NTUC to buy groceries and they passed by the toy section. I'm not sure if my mil had planned to buy the toys for her or that she saw her so excited at seeing the toys that she wanted to buy something for her. Some of the toys must be quite high up so my mil pointed to a ironing toy set and asked her if that's the one she wants and Eliza replied "yes, yes. very good very good".
My mil was so amused by her that she just had to recount it to all of us a few times. I think Eliza must have found it quite fun to say that so I've been hearing it the whole day (or more like b4 i go out for work and when i came back)
SCO Children's Concert
This is Eliza's 2nd 'formal' concert. The first one was at Victoria Concert Hall with complimentary tickets given by Lynette. She was only about almost 12 months then...i think. When i saw one organized by SCO at quite an affordable price of $12 per person (yes Eliza has to pay too!), i just had to bring her. I know she loves music and somehow orchestras seem to captivate her quite a bit with the big group of people playing instruments together.
So i prepared her the night before, telling her that we're going to the concert etc etc. Too bad it was a friday, else Ww would have joined us as well.
Anyway the concert teaches kids about the terms for fast and slow in music & about conducting. Eliza wasn't paying much attention when all the talking was on, but when the music played she was moving or conducting away. The only 'inconvenience' was she saw the kindergarten kids going out of their seats and she asked me where they're going. I said that they're going the toilet and she wanted to go too! We went. She sat on the toilet bowl and declared that she was done. No pee. geee..
She had a good time i know. When i was explaining to her about an advertisement with an outdoor concert, she declared that she wanted to go to a concert. So now she has gotten the concept of a concert.
Helix Bridge Walk
So we did the usual stuff that most other Singaporeans did, walk the Helix bridge. We were just finding somewhere to go and something to do. It was a nice walk anyway, with Ww carrying her quite a bit cos she was scared. I can't remember what of.
Art park
Some hexagonal step lights that captivated her so much she didn't realize we were so far away.
Sungai Buloh
Yes we went there...i can't believe it is in such a ulu part of the world. Even the drive in was so ulu. My sil & her boys were there for a walk. And we were to join them though we were quite late.Eliza was still napping then but woke up after 1hr of nap cos the terrain was just too bumpy as we pushed the stroller. Anyway we saw squirrels, horseshoe crabs, lots of fishes, lots of monitor lizards. It was fun tho the route was just too long. I'll probably plan for another trip there someday. the 5hr walk to the freshwater pond sounds quite intimidating though.
Drawing
We're doing a lot of drawing...or more like Eliza giving us the crayon/colour pencil and asking us to colour/draw. It's her super favourite time cos maybe she has our attention during the drawing time.
I try to take photos of the drawings that we've made...usually with scribbles added by Ww, my mil and me...occasionally her cousins or our guests.
Recently she has taken a full love for painting...she super loved it when we did it during the parent-toddler class...now she'll mention it almost everyday, especially since we have been doing painting (from finger to hand to sponge to paintbrush painting) at home.
Stuff Eliza says and does
- She'll pat hers or our tummy and say "tummy big big" in her very funny way. So much for daddy getting her to say i'm fat!
- She saw the floor outside the kitchen toilet to be slightly wet and she asked "why so wet?" in the tone my mil would have said
- I was telling her that i'm going to work and she said "mummy come back", as if wanting me to come back immediately. so i had to convince her that i'll be back, at night.
- she/we farted and she'll in her very amused manner ask "who poot poot?!"
It's such a joy seeing my little girl grow up, hearing her talk (and hearing myself through her cos what i say, she picks it up and takes after me somehow), learning with her and knowing her. Ww & I will swoon over the stuff she has done that day and is obviously proud of her, like every parent would be.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Sleep talking
We always sleep around 3 hours after Eliza goes to sleep and i wonder if it's like the peak time for sleep talking because many-a-times we have been surprised by her talking in the middle of the night. Sometimes we can't make out what she said but we have heard her sing (jingle bells & the gongxi song). Ok the singing is just one phrase but it was hilarious enough for us to stop and try not to laugh too loudly. Awww...she's soo cute. I wonder what goes on in her dreams.
Recently, Ww and I was going into the room to sleep and we heard her longest sleep talk.
"I want to go playground. I want milk. I want to pee. I want to 大便." Oooohh!! hahaha! so cuttte :)
Well you can guess what we have been talking about all the time. :P
Recently, Ww and I was going into the room to sleep and we heard her longest sleep talk.
"I want to go playground. I want milk. I want to pee. I want to 大便." Oooohh!! hahaha! so cuttte :)
Well you can guess what we have been talking about all the time. :P
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Sunday & Monday
Sunday
- church service at 830am.
I've gotten used to not bathing her on sunday mornings (except for washing her butt else she gets rashes from sitting in her wet diapers at night), cos we just don't have time, esp if i factor in us waking up late / i haven't packed bag / Ww is on duty. No zipping out of the house in record time like 15mins, cos there's always 101 things to do, and even when i leave the house i just wonder if i had forgotten something. I've got to also factor in Eliza's morning milk, changing and getting her ready, it's never a good idea to rush a toddler or stop one from her task in a swift manner, it's just a recipe for an unnecessary meltdown.
- For logistics and routine sake, we were always at the 1st service which is, on sunday terms, quite early. Since there's no sunday school for toddlers during the 830am service (i think there's only 2 or 3 toddlers in this service), i usually prefer that we stay through the worship part and move off to the 'cry room' during the sermon, lest she makes too much noise. But, if Amos is there, she doesn't want to go in, so i'm left to hang around outside with her. Now that she is more able to understand the meaning of being quiet, i'm able to stay in the service with her and listen to the sermon quite peacefully (that is on good days lah). I don't expect kids her age to understand much of what goes on in the service so it's finding ways to keep her occupied. Well...actually she usually has her morning snack during that time, and just this sunday, i realized i could bring crayons & paper! why didn't i think of that b4. *slap head* She was really quite busy colouring for almost 30mins! after which we had to go out for some stomping on the grass and plucking flowers/weeds.
- Mother's day lunch with mum & sis @ Paramount Tung Lok. yummmsss...and Eliza almost finished the peanut snack. gosh. she 'mmmm-ed' the delicious Ee-fu noodles, till she somewhat choked on it and didn't want it anymore. By the time we were finishing, she was quite tired out. Anyway, we had a good meal, walked about Parkway before making our way to Danny&Shuyi's housewarming to hear great news :)
Monday
...is our cycling day.
The plan was to cycle from Changi Beach to East Coast and finish off with play at Polliwogs. We started late cos we woke up late (8am...that's late on Eliza's terms..and usually if we can sleep in, she's always the first to wake up). I also had to wash clothes!! So by the time we set off it was 9am.
- Changi ride to ECP was a more leisurely one than the 1st cycling trip. The only discomfort is the sweltering hot sun...i could feel myself being tanned away! Eliza has it easiest of all and other than the very loud planes landing and taking off as we cycled past the airport runway, she nicely hid in daddy's shade, eating her cheerios away.
As usual, she was singing away, or putting her fingers in her ears, waving hi to me, ringing the bell, 'pushing' daddy's peddling thighs.
I wonder where we're going next!
(photos in the hp which i can't transfer out yet)
- church service at 830am.
I've gotten used to not bathing her on sunday mornings (except for washing her butt else she gets rashes from sitting in her wet diapers at night), cos we just don't have time, esp if i factor in us waking up late / i haven't packed bag / Ww is on duty. No zipping out of the house in record time like 15mins, cos there's always 101 things to do, and even when i leave the house i just wonder if i had forgotten something. I've got to also factor in Eliza's morning milk, changing and getting her ready, it's never a good idea to rush a toddler or stop one from her task in a swift manner, it's just a recipe for an unnecessary meltdown.
- For logistics and routine sake, we were always at the 1st service which is, on sunday terms, quite early. Since there's no sunday school for toddlers during the 830am service (i think there's only 2 or 3 toddlers in this service), i usually prefer that we stay through the worship part and move off to the 'cry room' during the sermon, lest she makes too much noise. But, if Amos is there, she doesn't want to go in, so i'm left to hang around outside with her. Now that she is more able to understand the meaning of being quiet, i'm able to stay in the service with her and listen to the sermon quite peacefully (that is on good days lah). I don't expect kids her age to understand much of what goes on in the service so it's finding ways to keep her occupied. Well...actually she usually has her morning snack during that time, and just this sunday, i realized i could bring crayons & paper! why didn't i think of that b4. *slap head* She was really quite busy colouring for almost 30mins! after which we had to go out for some stomping on the grass and plucking flowers/weeds.
- Mother's day lunch with mum & sis @ Paramount Tung Lok. yummmsss...and Eliza almost finished the peanut snack. gosh. she 'mmmm-ed' the delicious Ee-fu noodles, till she somewhat choked on it and didn't want it anymore. By the time we were finishing, she was quite tired out. Anyway, we had a good meal, walked about Parkway before making our way to Danny&Shuyi's housewarming to hear great news :)
Monday
...is our cycling day.
The plan was to cycle from Changi Beach to East Coast and finish off with play at Polliwogs. We started late cos we woke up late (8am...that's late on Eliza's terms..and usually if we can sleep in, she's always the first to wake up). I also had to wash clothes!! So by the time we set off it was 9am.
- Changi ride to ECP was a more leisurely one than the 1st cycling trip. The only discomfort is the sweltering hot sun...i could feel myself being tanned away! Eliza has it easiest of all and other than the very loud planes landing and taking off as we cycled past the airport runway, she nicely hid in daddy's shade, eating her cheerios away.
As usual, she was singing away, or putting her fingers in her ears, waving hi to me, ringing the bell, 'pushing' daddy's peddling thighs.
I wonder where we're going next!
(photos in the hp which i can't transfer out yet)
Friday and Saturday
We have had a great weekend!
Friday:
(ok this part wasn't so great, cos i had to go for my dentist appointment that cost me $400)
- Went to expo to check out the Borders sale / Metro sale / Baby fair. Kinda disappointing. I also bought finger paints there for Eliza that i later realized was cheaper at Toy R' Us :S
Realized that Eliza spots things i don't usually see, and sometimes it's a challenge to figure out what she says cos it's either not the most accurate pronunciation or she's at a different height from me.
Anyway she saw Clifford the dog mascot at the Borders sale walking around, and kept trying to point it out to me, but it took me like forever to realize that.
- Went for a date with Ww which didn't start out too well cos he was quite upset about the exorbitant price the dentist charged...he felt that it was way overpriced.
Saturday:
- Breakfast at Cartel. More for us than for her since she doesn't really eat bread and egg. So only the hashbrowns was a hit with her.
- Finger painting! It was a mess! Still it was super fun for her to have free reign of how she wants to mess the paper with the paints.
She's giving me her very sweet, i'm-all-ready smile :)
Kids are really more unreserved with mess...i would only use my 1 finger, (also cos i was taking photos). At one point she even used her foot! ahhh!! drove me nuts for a while cos after that it was on the floor!
I thought i only wanted to use two colours, and it got more fun as i added on the colours. Here's her finished product. You'll know which is done by her and which is done by me.
- Actually finger painting was really quite a short activity to do, even though there's still like cleaning up to do. Her cousins were over at our place but when she woke from her nap, they were going to take theirs so we had quite some time to spare.
Eliza started playing on the sofa, playing "where's eliza". Of course, having loads of fun.
- As some of the stuffed toys fell on the floor she started to arrange them and getting them to sleep. It's the beginnings of a lot more imaginative play, we've seen it on and off the past few months but now she's like great friends with her toys. She gets them to sleep, wakes them up, asks them if they "want to pee?", cleans their butt (by pinching it using her fingers. the first time i saw it, it was just tooooo hilarious!), kisses them etc. Gosh, it's so much of a reflection of what we do day in day out at home, and she's reenacting it with her toys.
She sleeps with them too. :P
- We had a good dinner and she ate till her tummy was quite big! :O on many a days when i don't cook, (except for this week), i would go to the coffee shop to buy 菜饭. It's so much better than buying noodles and i can choose to have a good variety of veg to meat. Just last week, she declared to my mil that she doesn't want to eat porridge and would rather have ruce, so our slow cooker has retired to the storeroom.
- After that we sent my mil off to the airport as she was going to Hokkiado. Which means that i'm home all week!! Anyway, the airport is a fantastic running space...which Eliza made us 'exercise' by running and running and running. If we didn't budge, she'll come back and nudge us at our thighs (that's how tall she is). Gosh i had a mini workout, but i guess she had a bigger workout!
Friday:
(ok this part wasn't so great, cos i had to go for my dentist appointment that cost me $400)
- Went to expo to check out the Borders sale / Metro sale / Baby fair. Kinda disappointing. I also bought finger paints there for Eliza that i later realized was cheaper at Toy R' Us :S
Realized that Eliza spots things i don't usually see, and sometimes it's a challenge to figure out what she says cos it's either not the most accurate pronunciation or she's at a different height from me.
Anyway she saw Clifford the dog mascot at the Borders sale walking around, and kept trying to point it out to me, but it took me like forever to realize that.
- Went for a date with Ww which didn't start out too well cos he was quite upset about the exorbitant price the dentist charged...he felt that it was way overpriced.
Saturday:
- Breakfast at Cartel. More for us than for her since she doesn't really eat bread and egg. So only the hashbrowns was a hit with her.
- Finger painting! It was a mess! Still it was super fun for her to have free reign of how she wants to mess the paper with the paints.
She's giving me her very sweet, i'm-all-ready smile :)
Kids are really more unreserved with mess...i would only use my 1 finger, (also cos i was taking photos). At one point she even used her foot! ahhh!! drove me nuts for a while cos after that it was on the floor!
I thought i only wanted to use two colours, and it got more fun as i added on the colours. Here's her finished product. You'll know which is done by her and which is done by me.
- Actually finger painting was really quite a short activity to do, even though there's still like cleaning up to do. Her cousins were over at our place but when she woke from her nap, they were going to take theirs so we had quite some time to spare.
Eliza started playing on the sofa, playing "where's eliza". Of course, having loads of fun.
- As some of the stuffed toys fell on the floor she started to arrange them and getting them to sleep. It's the beginnings of a lot more imaginative play, we've seen it on and off the past few months but now she's like great friends with her toys. She gets them to sleep, wakes them up, asks them if they "want to pee?", cleans their butt (by pinching it using her fingers. the first time i saw it, it was just tooooo hilarious!), kisses them etc. Gosh, it's so much of a reflection of what we do day in day out at home, and she's reenacting it with her toys.
She sleeps with them too. :P
- We had a good dinner and she ate till her tummy was quite big! :O on many a days when i don't cook, (except for this week), i would go to the coffee shop to buy 菜饭. It's so much better than buying noodles and i can choose to have a good variety of veg to meat. Just last week, she declared to my mil that she doesn't want to eat porridge and would rather have ruce, so our slow cooker has retired to the storeroom.
- After that we sent my mil off to the airport as she was going to Hokkiado. Which means that i'm home all week!! Anyway, the airport is a fantastic running space...which Eliza made us 'exercise' by running and running and running. If we didn't budge, she'll come back and nudge us at our thighs (that's how tall she is). Gosh i had a mini workout, but i guess she had a bigger workout!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Our mini cycling excursion
One fine day on one of the library outings, we went across to Sunplaza park where Ww saw the PCN bicycle rental kiosk. He suggested we could do a cycling trip with him cycling with Eliza in the seat. It took us like weeks (maybe months) before we really got down to do it. Sometimes it was the weather, sometimes i didn't think i really want to do that. My hesitation is mainly on whether Eliza will cooperate and sit in the bike, with daddy. I didn't think i would be able to cycle another weight of Eliza + have that seat in front of me.
Anyway during the Good Friday weekend, we really did it! We got Eliza excited about sitting in a bicycle and so there we went.
The cycle to Pasir Ris was quite a breeze, especially as we followed the PCN route. On and off Eliza need to see me as there isn't always space to cycle side by side. We were really thankful that the bell at the front of the bicycle kept her quite busy in the initial part of the ride when she was still warming up to the actual experience.
Ww would point out the flowers / kites / canals etc to her and sing with her to keep her entertained. Great daddy-daughter bonding time :)
Most of the time i could only take photos at the traffic junctions when we stop so there! This is just after Downtown east, at the big field where a lot of people were flying kites. After this part, somewhere towards Loyang, there was at least 1-2km of gentle upslope that just we too much for me. After that i was just too bished out. It was still manageable as long as there isn't any upslope.
Eliza playing with the gears now. Anyway, Eliza kept herself busy singing 80% of the time. Ww also joined in with her till she turned around to put her palm at his mouth, signaling him to stop signing. Funny girl!
The initial plan was to cycle till East Coast Park but by the time we reached Changi Beach, i was quite spent by the 2 to 3 major slopes in the route. In all i think we cycled about 10km? They have the distance markers on the ground and i was getting happier and happier as the numbers decreased, meaning that we're getting closer to our destination. Anyway, I was so super duper relieved that there was a PCN bicycle rental at Changi beach to return the bicycles else we'll have to really cycle all the way to East Coast! :S phews!
Btw, the last place you would want to be on a weekend for some peace and solitude, not to mention parking space....is Changi Village. Really the cars are ready to park on top of each other we were thankful we were on bikes and taking public transport.
Anyway it was just about dinner time and i was also glad that we didn't have to delay Eliza's dinner time. She chose noodles for dinner that day (no the photo doesn't show it cos by the time the noodles came we were eating the fried rice halfway..delicious!).
Oh and we ended the evening with ice-cream at Blic our current favourite after dinner/ dessert
place, especially for Eliza. Wonderful part of it is that it's just a 5mins walk away from home. So far we've been eating toddler safe ice-cream (ie no mint / no liquor / no sourness ice-cream). Maybe I'll pop by with Ww someday for the non-toddler safe ice-creams that i love too.
Anyway during the Good Friday weekend, we really did it! We got Eliza excited about sitting in a bicycle and so there we went.
The cycle to Pasir Ris was quite a breeze, especially as we followed the PCN route. On and off Eliza need to see me as there isn't always space to cycle side by side. We were really thankful that the bell at the front of the bicycle kept her quite busy in the initial part of the ride when she was still warming up to the actual experience.
Ww would point out the flowers / kites / canals etc to her and sing with her to keep her entertained. Great daddy-daughter bonding time :)
Most of the time i could only take photos at the traffic junctions when we stop so there! This is just after Downtown east, at the big field where a lot of people were flying kites. After this part, somewhere towards Loyang, there was at least 1-2km of gentle upslope that just we too much for me. After that i was just too bished out. It was still manageable as long as there isn't any upslope.
Eliza playing with the gears now. Anyway, Eliza kept herself busy singing 80% of the time. Ww also joined in with her till she turned around to put her palm at his mouth, signaling him to stop signing. Funny girl!
The initial plan was to cycle till East Coast Park but by the time we reached Changi Beach, i was quite spent by the 2 to 3 major slopes in the route. In all i think we cycled about 10km? They have the distance markers on the ground and i was getting happier and happier as the numbers decreased, meaning that we're getting closer to our destination. Anyway, I was so super duper relieved that there was a PCN bicycle rental at Changi beach to return the bicycles else we'll have to really cycle all the way to East Coast! :S phews!
Btw, the last place you would want to be on a weekend for some peace and solitude, not to mention parking space....is Changi Village. Really the cars are ready to park on top of each other we were thankful we were on bikes and taking public transport.
Anyway it was just about dinner time and i was also glad that we didn't have to delay Eliza's dinner time. She chose noodles for dinner that day (no the photo doesn't show it cos by the time the noodles came we were eating the fried rice halfway..delicious!).
Oh and we ended the evening with ice-cream at Blic our current favourite after dinner/ dessert
place, especially for Eliza. Wonderful part of it is that it's just a 5mins walk away from home. So far we've been eating toddler safe ice-cream (ie no mint / no liquor / no sourness ice-cream). Maybe I'll pop by with Ww someday for the non-toddler safe ice-creams that i love too.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sharing
Oh the woes of toddler sharing. Somehow, this year, she wasn't too nice on playing with other kids her age, well..in particular Amos whom we usually have playdates with. I've been scratching my head on how to deal with the offensive reactions & emotional outbursts she has towards kids coming to take her toys she has in her hands.
We were at Pollywogs once when a toddler boy, probably younger than her, came towards her and pulled the big ball she had in her hands. She threw herself onto the ball pit and wailed bitterly. Gosh...i was a bit taken aback by her reaction but on hindsight and after some reading up, I'm thinking that it was because she hated the little kids coming to snatch things away from her. We don't like it either if it happens to us. Somehow she prefers older kids cos they don't do that to her...i think it's more like the other way around...she snatches things from them (like when she plays with her cousins who will lovingly give it to her) or is too afraid to go near them (if it's a older kid she doesn't know).
She also doesn't want to play with other kids, which means, if she's playing a toy, she wouldn't let the other kid touch any part of the toy, else she'll throw the toy or snatch it away...and that can be quite aggressive....the throwing the toy (so far she hasn't hit anyone, thank God!) and the pushing the kid's hand away from the toy. But kids this age is always interested in the other kids toy.
I think she particularly dislikes playing toys with Amos cos he'll always be interested in what she's playing and they always end up in some mess with Eliza pushing Amos away or crying and Amos hitting her (ok that only happened once or twice). But if it's doing stuff together like running about, playing outdoors, they're quite fine. i guess there's no toy to fight over?
Anyway, i've told her countless times that if she wants something she "must say 'please' " & "cannot snatch" which she'll chant that phrase to me...but can't seem to do it. Seems like this isn't working out. I understand that this is a common phase that toddlers go through and i wonder when this will end.
Quote two mums' reply which i'll try to use:
"Something we have been told is not to share but to say turn. Lily had an older child to learn behaviour off (sometimes great - sometimes not so). So when she snatched a toy we don't say "share nicely" (well, not anymore), but we say something like "Lily, it's Jane's turn. Lily can have a turn after Jane".
And yes, we also tell Lily not to throw, if you do it again I will take it away - and we always follow thru. She is starting to get the message.
We are seeing the benefits of this now as Lily has just started saying "turn" when she wants something that we've got and she wants to play with. "
" It doesn't mean the toy has to actually belong to them, but when they are playing with it they perceive it as theirs. It is healthy and appropriate for children this age to take turns rather than share. If your child is the one with the toy, tell them "Jenny wants to play with that when you are done. Can you give it to her when you are done?" Then, when you see that they are done with the toy and put it down, remind them "Are you all done? If you are all done, you need to give it to Jenny" and help them hand it over at that time if they are still having trouble. If your child wants a toy that someone else has, teach them how to ask for it. Give them words if they are too young to have any. "You want to play with that? Ask Mike if you can have it when he is done"
Another from justthefacts.com
"When a playmate suddenly snatches your child’s toy, it’s important not to jump in and start scolding or comforting. Instead, act as a mediator and teach your toddler to speak up for herself, says Schafer. You can check in with your child and ask her, “do you like being treated that way?” And if she says no, tell her “then you need to speak up,” says Schafer.
Teach your child to communicate with her playmate by saying something like: “Can you tell your friend how you feel and say ‘I’m not done yet?’” Follow this by saying “your friend is asking for a turn when you’re done, can you find him and give him the toy when you’re finished?” This puts the control in the hands of your child instead of you simply saying “It’s his turn now,” and handing the toy over.
Toddler friendships can be a bit rocky at times and if things seem to be getting out of hand, it’s okay to step in as long as you do it without overreacting. “Hitting, biting and other aggressive behavior are often a sign that children are trying to connect,” says Schafer. “They’re just trying to figure out how to play and haven’t quite got it yet.” Your knee-jerk reaction may be to want to separate them, when sometimes you just need to redirect them toward cooperative play, she says. “You can say something like, ‘it looks like you really want to play with this boy, so how about we build a fort together?’”
We were at Pollywogs once when a toddler boy, probably younger than her, came towards her and pulled the big ball she had in her hands. She threw herself onto the ball pit and wailed bitterly. Gosh...i was a bit taken aback by her reaction but on hindsight and after some reading up, I'm thinking that it was because she hated the little kids coming to snatch things away from her. We don't like it either if it happens to us. Somehow she prefers older kids cos they don't do that to her...i think it's more like the other way around...she snatches things from them (like when she plays with her cousins who will lovingly give it to her) or is too afraid to go near them (if it's a older kid she doesn't know).
She also doesn't want to play with other kids, which means, if she's playing a toy, she wouldn't let the other kid touch any part of the toy, else she'll throw the toy or snatch it away...and that can be quite aggressive....the throwing the toy (so far she hasn't hit anyone, thank God!) and the pushing the kid's hand away from the toy. But kids this age is always interested in the other kids toy.
I think she particularly dislikes playing toys with Amos cos he'll always be interested in what she's playing and they always end up in some mess with Eliza pushing Amos away or crying and Amos hitting her (ok that only happened once or twice). But if it's doing stuff together like running about, playing outdoors, they're quite fine. i guess there's no toy to fight over?
Anyway, i've told her countless times that if she wants something she "must say 'please' " & "cannot snatch" which she'll chant that phrase to me...but can't seem to do it. Seems like this isn't working out. I understand that this is a common phase that toddlers go through and i wonder when this will end.
Quote two mums' reply which i'll try to use:
"Something we have been told is not to share but to say turn. Lily had an older child to learn behaviour off (sometimes great - sometimes not so). So when she snatched a toy we don't say "share nicely" (well, not anymore), but we say something like "Lily, it's Jane's turn. Lily can have a turn after Jane".
And yes, we also tell Lily not to throw, if you do it again I will take it away - and we always follow thru. She is starting to get the message.
We are seeing the benefits of this now as Lily has just started saying "turn" when she wants something that we've got and she wants to play with. "
" It doesn't mean the toy has to actually belong to them, but when they are playing with it they perceive it as theirs. It is healthy and appropriate for children this age to take turns rather than share. If your child is the one with the toy, tell them "Jenny wants to play with that when you are done. Can you give it to her when you are done?" Then, when you see that they are done with the toy and put it down, remind them "Are you all done? If you are all done, you need to give it to Jenny" and help them hand it over at that time if they are still having trouble. If your child wants a toy that someone else has, teach them how to ask for it. Give them words if they are too young to have any. "You want to play with that? Ask Mike if you can have it when he is done"
Another from justthefacts.com
"When a playmate suddenly snatches your child’s toy, it’s important not to jump in and start scolding or comforting. Instead, act as a mediator and teach your toddler to speak up for herself, says Schafer. You can check in with your child and ask her, “do you like being treated that way?” And if she says no, tell her “then you need to speak up,” says Schafer.
Teach your child to communicate with her playmate by saying something like: “Can you tell your friend how you feel and say ‘I’m not done yet?’” Follow this by saying “your friend is asking for a turn when you’re done, can you find him and give him the toy when you’re finished?” This puts the control in the hands of your child instead of you simply saying “It’s his turn now,” and handing the toy over.
Toddler friendships can be a bit rocky at times and if things seem to be getting out of hand, it’s okay to step in as long as you do it without overreacting. “Hitting, biting and other aggressive behavior are often a sign that children are trying to connect,” says Schafer. “They’re just trying to figure out how to play and haven’t quite got it yet.” Your knee-jerk reaction may be to want to separate them, when sometimes you just need to redirect them toward cooperative play, she says. “You can say something like, ‘it looks like you really want to play with this boy, so how about we build a fort together?’”
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