Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Before i was a mum

This is frm one of the mummies blog which i really found meaningful..not sure if it's written by her or from somewhere...added my take on some of the lines

Dedicated to all Mothers...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
(i trip over toys and forgot words tho...cos i'm quite lun zun and forgetful.. but i will worry abt bad plants & now immunizations confuse me)

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
(yar lor...add in scratched on, drooled on...and i definately slept all night! i loved my sleep. and yes...i'm scatterbrained now..except for Eliza's stuff)

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
(thank God Eliza doesn't scream...and she has been cooperative with her tests so far. most of her intense emotions evoke much in me..whether a tear, or frustration, or she melts me with what she does. i relish some moments of watching her sleep for the sake of watching her sleep, even Ww. ok...but i won't stay up late hours to watch her sleep unless she forces me to)

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
(nowadays when i carry her to sleep, i'll really enjoy that moments of watching her fall asleep and feeling her chubbiness against me, watching her interesting "asleep antics"...she really turns my life around)

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.
(i used to check on her when she's asleep to make sure she's breathing..nowadays when she sleeps too well..aka not waking up to cry after bedtime...i also check her if she's breathing, i wonder if it's what mums do..fear of SIDS?
the days after birth were the most intense of those emotions, feelings only mums understand)

Days of Eliza
She has been more curious lately, using her fingers to do all sorts of things, grabbing stuff and putting in her mouth, and if it doesn't come to her, she moves towards it..her mouth open and ready to drool over it.
she has recently been caught spinning the toys..was quite engrossed with them for a while

Last tuesday, i decided that it was time for her to shave her has been growing slooooowly. actually the main reason is that it's been growing all over her head at different lengths. messy! so a trip to the hairdresser at cost $6 (which we could also buy a shaver and cut her hair on our own...but i won't want to shave her hair botak after this!!).
no tears! she was more interested in the sound of the shaver...turn her head left and right to see where the sound came from.
i thought she looked neater with her botak head :P

While i'm at work...see what ah-ma, ah-gong & daddy have been up to....

they really find Eliza interest in putting things in her mouth quite rewarding when it comes to food...i haven't started her on solids yet though. while i didn't really want her to eat new foods least not till we start on baby cereal proper, i kinda missed her cute expressions they described on Eliza taste of orange.

It's a longer weekend. :) mummy needs to sleep soon....

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